¦ dialling in from workstation ¦
08:13 GMT, Tuesday 15th September 2009. High winds blowing around outside but the most beautiful amber coloured sunlight. Autumn is sweeping in. I was able to drive in with the hood down. Currently listening to the soundtrack for “Vexille” by choice, throbbing away through speakers either side of PC, the bass unit sat at the back of my desk.
I started writing the new novel yesterday, and went straight into a freak out: feeling like I’d forgotten how to write, desperate to crawl back into the “easy” planning and note making stage. I fought through it and have the first chapter taking shape. I placed social fun in front of writing last night, as per this year’s personal objective, and spent the evening out with Oj. She’s awesome.
I woke up this morning with a dream of my mum dying, echoing through fading memory… it was grim feeling, the most notable experience in the dream being the realisation that when I wanted to ring her up, I couldn’t. The finality of somebody being absent from your life.
I’m no longer so certain she’ll be still around for Christmas. I lulled myself into a false state of optimism following her remarkable bounce-back and positive state of mind this summer.
I shrugged off the dream during this morning’s drive.
Into the office mega early and cracking on with the novel before starting work; another surge of feeling daunted by the task ahead, but I gritted my proverbial teeth and forced myself to open up the document and pick up where I left off yesterday. Chapter One, page 3.
I’ve mapped out 44 chapters, so I’m looking to finish around the end of April 2010.