December 2007 - Posts

Newcastle and Back Again (Christmas 2007)

¦ dialling in from Watershed ¦

12:44 GMT, Saturday 29th Dec. Jesus Christ. Hands are shaking. Major hangover. Flew back from Newcastle last night after an amazing week up there. Jo picked me up from the airport...she was waiting in the car...I climbed in and found her wearing nothing but a raincoat and a pair of stockings and suspenders. Hello Bristol. :o)

Long lie-in this morning. More delicious rudeness with Jo. Then I drove into town... smiling at the new acquisition for Swampy's dash-board...a Darth Vader with a bobbing head. From my sister. Love it. It was good to get into the car and drive. I'm needing to retune my radar and dial back into being in Bristol... or rather, shrug off the saddening nostalgia and deep gut churning sense of "missing Jesus Mound". I miss the Dene. I miss sitting in my old bedroom with a view of dense forest. I miss the sound of mum laughing as we whip each other at cards. I miss being together with my sister... smiling, having fun. I miss Kitsch'n Cafe, and hanging with Mike C. But all of these things are only a few hours journey away... and I can have them again, and appreciating the wonderful moments I had up there...and appreciating the incredibly good things I have down here too. House. Jo. Good friends. Job I love.

I'm getting close to completing the editorial review of Yellow Dawn (currently transcribing all my pen and ink scribbles in the proof copy onto the master document). I'll be ready to launch in a few days. I'm not going to delay the launch whilst I complete the scenarios I want to be available to go with the rulebook. They can come online over the next few weeks.

Key memories from Newcastle:
() Reading HP Lovecraft (Rats in the Walls) at 4am, sitting downstairs in mum's study, in soft lamplight with a cup of tea, and feeling really creeped out by the story.
() Sitting upstairs in my old bedroom, working on Yellow Dawn with DaVinci method, 45 minutes on...and then lying down for 15 mins...listening to Fungi from Yuggoth thing I started listening to early this year...totally Mythos vibe...sitting staring out at the dense wall of trees and reflecting on how my life has changed this year. So many good things accomplished.
() A night out with Mike C, drinking Tequila at Salsa Bar, then off to Digital and a solid night of clubbing. Meeting up with Floyd. Waking up with Floyd on the bedroom floor. A big breakfast at Kitsch'n... a long rambling walk in the Dene with Floyd... hanging out like school kids. Fun city. Floyd talking about Power of Eight with real passion... me feeling flattered and excited that the concept has merit beyond my own imagination.
() My sister fleecing me out of about £10 over three days playing cards... she should be a professional gambler... she could make a living from it.

Djr

THE BEST SUSHI IN THE WORLD

¦ dialling in from workstation ¦

 

I first got into eating Sushi in 1999, through visiting my pal Raymond F in Brooklyn, NY. Since then I’ve enjoyed many places but none come remotely close to this new eating house in Bath:

 

Yen Sushi.

 

http://www.invitationplatinum.co.uk/bath/yen_sushi/index.php

 

Words can’t really describe how good it is: you’ve just got to go there.

 

 :o)

Final approach to Christmas 2007...

¦ Dialling in from workstation ¦

08:45 hrs, Monday 17th December, 2007. Grey skies outside the window, and ancient buildings of Bath clasped in jagged fingers of frost. Gods teeth, I'm feeling slightly wrecked... many sessions out since I got back from New York, much alcohol and euphoria and late nights. Thursday last week was particularly major: the office Christmas Party, but this was all 1,000 or so staff, in a vast and splendid hall decked out like Las Vegas...there were long legged woman wearing sequins, feather plumes and not much else, a vast dodgems circuit (can you imagine how much fun it is to have drunk people on these)...gambling tables, a Tom Jones performer...a free bar...a free shots bar... and a wonderful mix of lovely people. I'd never been to an "office party" like this before. Saturday swung round, and I was more-or-less recovered from my intoxications... I picked up the guys from Simon's house, with a detour to grab Hagen (who had only just woken up when he should have been at Simon's)... then to mine, RV with Simon and Tony... we played the final segment of Red Desire ¦ Cold Murder, a scenario I wrote a few weeks ago, and a story i would definately like to expand into a novel at some time. Great session. Great fun. Tony was able to stay late, which was a treat. The guys left, I chilled out for a while, planned a pint and a curry with Simon, which was then scuppered by yet more irksome relationship-politics, so grabbed some miso soup and toast then drove back to Hagen's and met up with Eivind and his crowd across the road from H's place... a brisk walk through freezing night to a local pub, drinking Leffe and chatting with good people, smiling and laughing... back to Eivinds and onto the whisky and coke until it reached a point where the room started spinning...so across the road to Hagens and collapsing blissfully on his sofa.

Wake up feeling slightly bleary but feeling satisfied... said cheerio to Hagen and stepped out into cold grey light. Drove home, parked, stepped inside and felt a wonderful sense of..."ahhh I'm home." It was still morning. I had food in the house. Coffee. And two sacks of wood for the fire. I turned on ambient lighting and got cosy; packed up all the Yellow Dawn stuff, took it back upstairs with my laptop and got to work on revising Red Desire - Cold Murder, and then continuing with writing up editorial changes of Yellow Dawn rules ... (2 months and counting!!!!)

About 6pm I came downstairs, built up the fire so that it had deep orange and bright yellow cores of heat radiating out... I went out, bought wine, chocolate, came back, lit candles, tuned the TV in KISStory, club classics from the 80's and 90's... and sat in the ambient light reading through S-O-Az, the next major campaign for the guys in Yellow Dawn.

Jo got back home around 7. Excellent night by the fire.

So I'm here at work, and I've had an email from my cousin Kenn-Ole in Norway. He came over for Dad's funeral around this time last year, which I deeply thankful for. He took some video footage, which he'd compressed and attached to the Email. It was surreal and yet delightful to watch it... much of it were random moments of preparation on the day of the funeral, the after party, and then the scattering of ashes a few days later... there was lots of really good "context" but there were also some vivid and poigniant moments which I hadn't expected... a long lingering shot of the coffin.... the moment when Dad's ashes are being scattered... small clouds of fine ash carried away by the breeze, and the heavier particles staying firm on the grass. How strange to be able to view these moments again...

...so, here I am at the start of the week. Several interesting things planned for evenings, and then Friday, driving up to Newcastle with Kelvin and Jo... Christmas in Kosekroken... ahh blisto. I'm looking forward to seeing Pete, and Rosie, and the kids... I'm looking forward to grabbing a pint and a curry.... of walking the desolate stretches of North East coastline in howling wind, sleet and rain, supping strong black coffee from a thermos and smiling at the anticipation of a hot shower later to come... I'm looking forward to seeing Ciaran, and connecting with him again, and of spending time in Kitsch'n cafe, seeing Mike, St John and Sam.

Djr

Reflections...


¦ dialling in from sky bunker ¦

05:06 GMT, Friday 30th Nov 2007, murky blackness above me, beyond the glass canopy, no starlight, no moonlight, if I stand up and look out across the city to the empty hills, I can see damp air caught in the sodium orange corona of street lights... Dundry is a black shape against all this, a sleeping giant with a sprinkling of lights across the top, very faint, very small. Life support is humming away by my feet, to my right, blowing warm air across my legs; one corner lamp throws soft light against the sloping cieling, and the lava lamp on my desk burns deep red and creates atmosphere. Dead Can Dance is playing by specific choice on my laptop, the album "A passage in time." As always it takes me back to the 2 years I spent living in Osborne Avenue.

I'm surprised I'm up. I was out with work last night, a lovely evening, which I left to then go to Matthias's pad and watch a film I've not seen for 20 years. "Sir Henry at Rawlinson End." I got home around 10, made food, lit a fire in the lounge (bliss), then made my way up here to the Sky Bunker, got cosy, and fell alseep on the floor with life support blowing on my back. Shuffled downstairs to bed at some point in the night and had a delish night's sleep, missing 2 calls from Jo at Midnight and 3.45 A.M.

This is the first time I've been up this early in ages. The routine I managed to establish, of waking up mega early and writing for 2 hours before work, got blown out the water past couple weeks, due I think to Stu (Boss) being away on annual leave and me picking up the responsibility and brain drain of keeping things rolling. This isn't a criticism or a complaint, just a statement; to be honest, I'm loving the challenge, but I'm looking forward to Stu getting back and being able to share the load.

Yesterday was particularly difficult for me. 29th November. 1 Year since Dad died. Me being the king of nostalgia and reflection, kept getting flashbacks to moments in time a year back, "10 Am, I would have been washing dishes in the kitchen after the phone call from mum saying Dad had gone critical..."; "Noon, I'd booked my flight up to Newcastle for that evening...I was sitting downstairs at the dinning room table, working on Shadows of Quantinex."; "3pm... Dad was going into a dying phase..."

Of course, all of this is happening whilst my critical projects that I've been defending all week (batting new work into next week) got trashed by even more critical projects (5 hour deadline, non negotiable), and there's a big floor meeting at 4pm... 15 minutes after I'm reliving the memory of 3.45 PM one year ago...the phone call from my sister... "Sorry David...he's gone."

So I had a few emotional moments...but I mainly held it together. I left work with Jason, brain numb, but 20 minutes later I had a pint in my hand and was bouncing back with vigour. Had a very enjoyable evening chatting with familiar (but unknown) faces from the floor where I work.

By 8pm I was at Matthias's pad. Sir Henry at Rawlinson End. This film had a massive effect on my mid to late teens, poignant memories of Ciaran dressed up as an Old Fogie, complete with Deer Stalker... however, it's now 20 years on, and I was curious to see if the film would still tickle me fancy. It did; I roared and chuckled, and guffawed, and grinned at the sheer surreal brilliance. Although Matthias had a pained-expression on his face most of the night... I admire his willingness to sit through it. At the end he said it was the most bizarre thing he'd watched since Erasure Head. I could see what he meant.

Getting home and being able to light a fire was a fantastic moment. The fire was installed at the start of this week and it's truly magical. I turned on the TV for the news headlines but everything else was shite, so I was able to spend some quality time just sitting on the floor, gazing at flickering flames as I fed the fire now and again. I think it's going to be a Godsend in a couple weeks when Winter finally starts to bite; the front of the house gets bitterly cold.

It was nice missing Jo, too. She's been away quite a few nights over the last few weeks... hotels with work; gigs in different cities; nights out with friends and crashing at mates. I always enjoy my own company, but I'm aware of her not being there...which is a good feeling.

05:36... time to make another mug of tea.

Djr


 

A week of sleeping through my writing time...

¦ dialling in from big telecommunications corp HQ ¦


12:19 GMT Sunday, 25th November 2007. Sitting in a rabbit warren of ugly desk compartments in a big corporate HQ building. Here with my G/F, she's come in to do a few hours work...

...I'm still making progress with final edit of YELLOW DAWN rulebook, and writing Shadows of  Quantinex. Have to confess I've not done my 4 AM start all week. Some late nights caused by watching Heroes... and the fact the temperature has dropped and I'm finding it sooooo warm and snug in bed with Jo when I wake up... stick my foot out the bed and think Brrrrrr.... and end up falling asleep again.

I've done two fancy dress parties in two weekends. Both times I dressed up as Darth Vadar, using the helmet I've borrowed from Matthias, my big New Planet ROck boots, and a huge black swathe of cloth I bought from St Nicks market, combined with some chunky black snowboarding gloves... I really felt the part.

I recently acquired Sir Henry at Rawlinson End, a fabulous chunk of comic surrealism that I've not watched since the late 1980's, and I'm blissfully looking forward to watching and sharing laughter with Mattias in a few days, fingers crossed.

I'm heading back to New York next weekend, I've not been there for five years!!! Incredible.  So I'm looking forward to cosey evenings in Ramona's apartment, and striding along Manhatten streets, hanging out with Floyd, chowing down on the world's best Macaroni Cheese in the Chat'N chew...and some time away from my laptop and computers in general.

[]

Skimming the Edge of the World

¦ dialling in from workstation ¦


13:12 GMT, Thursday 15th November 2007. Taking a wee break from today's mayhem. Steep learning curve for me today trying to get my brain around some technical know-how on 3rd party advertising systems. So I'm waiting for a call back from techy people and decided to rest my brain. Slept-in til 5 A.M. today, woken up by Jo's alarm going off...she's up early to catch a train to London.  I padded downstairs, aware of the sharp stinging of the cold on my cheeks...thank god for thick home-knitted woollen Norweigan socks and the enveloping comfort of Starsky. Brewed mugs of tea for Jo and I...we sat downstairs in the dinning room, soft light from an occaisional lamp, listening to Classic FM and chatting about the day ahead, and smiling at the fact we're both so happy with each other. She left around 5.30. I went upstairs and did some work on Lovecraftian monsters... life support blasting out to my right, mug of tea and Gary Numan wailing away through speakers on my desk. I cooked up the last of the bacon from the weekend into a monster bacon sandwhich, washed down with more tea, then locked up the house, de-iced the car and drove into Bath.

Wow. What a journey. The sun had already risen but only had the effect of making the sky lighter (pale grey with bands of weak yellow and pink) than the horizon. Beyond the city, out in the rolling Sommerset hills, the terrain was locked under a dense blanket for white frost, and cossetted by a dense blanket of freezing fog. Perfect Cthulhu weather, eh? Driving along the edge of the high hill by Kelston, my car popped out above the fog, leaving me driving along the edge of a vast milky lake...with the skeletal limbs of trees reaching up near the edges... it seemed as if I was driving along the edge of the known world... a sugar frosted netherworld. It's yet another day when I've driven into work with a huge grin on my face.

[]

Parkour in a Saville Row suit ¦ Maria O, and Zombies

¦ dialling in from workstation ¦

08:41 GMT, Wednesday 14th November 2007. Sitting at my workstation feeling slightly ropey. Went round to Simon and Vix with Jo last night, to babysit for little Orson; spend the whole evening cosey on their sofa, chatting with Jo and with no TV on. Then Sharky rang us from Spain and it was good to have a proper chinwag with him. Simon and Vix came home and proceeded to thrash Jo and I at the Wii Golf championship. Sheesh! Got home around 11 and both of us fell into bed, blissfully sleepy. I went through a whole night of vivid and bizarre dreams; I woke up around 4 again, but decided against getting up to write, figuring I could probably do with more sleep. And so had more dreams. In a nutshell the dreams consisted of following points:
() I'm dressed in a fabulous Saville Row suit, sprinting through some dense urban connurbation, leaping over walls and rebounding down stairwells in perfect Parkour style. It was an exhilarating dream.
() Then I'm in a hotel lounge/bar meeting Maria O.
() It was strange seeing her, because I felt like we were both really there... and not in a dream. I realised that the last time I saw her (2004?) I was pretty rude, and I found myself regretting that. At the end of the day, in reality, Maria and I had spent 4 years of our life together.
() Maria and I are in a hotel room; one wall of the room is formed of frosted glass panels, creating a partition with the rest of the room; there is a pair of frosted glass doors in this partition. Several figures are shambling around in the half-light beyond...I know they are zombies.
() Maria goes away somewhere
() I open one of the frosted glass doors. Several zombies turn to face me. One of them, a huge lumbering man, steps forward and grabs the edge of the open door. I try to shove it closed...but I can't...and that's when I start to panic.

Strange dreams. But the lingering thought today is...where is Maria? Is she okay? Is she happy?

Djr

3 A.M. on a Monday Morning

¦ dialling in from workstation ¦

08:31 GMT, Monday 12th November 2007. What a beautiful day. Ice cold, white frost on every surface, purple-blue dawn followed by luxuriant deep gold sunbeams painting the world in a happy light.

Woke up at 3 A.M., brewed a mug of tea, ascended into the Sky Bunker and got to work the current project of designing new Lovecraftian Gods and Monsters for Yellow Dawn. I took at break after 30 minutes, detrained from my ergonomic stool and lay down on the floor, on my Swiss backstretcher (looks like a Geiger-esque creation) and listened to music for 15 minutes.

Mounted my stool, switched off the tunes and dug out a file I'd not listened to for months: an hour-long extravaganga of Lovecraftian narrative with musical accompaniment creating moods worthy of the horror of the Mythos, called "The Fungi from Yuggoth".  As the first mystical chords came through the speakers mounted on my desk I was gripped by an intensity of nostalgia and emotion; I was taken back to February, this year, sitting in my old bedroom in Jesus Mound (Newcastle), facing the vast verdant bulk of Jesmond Dene, only recently starting to lay down text for the 2nd edition of Yellow Dawn, utterly in awe of Cthulhoid atmosphere being created around me by the narrative and musical score of this file... and blissfully happy from the awareness that I had several months of creative freedom ahead of me without needing to worry about finding work... now kneeling on my stool in the Sky Bunker, in November, with so many positive steps and changes taken place...I was totally overwhelmed... I listened to less than 30 seconds of it before switching it off. Bizarre.

Was back in bed by 4.30 A.M. Up again at 7, mug of tea and hot croissants with Jo downstairs, and then a lovely drive into Bath.

Djr

Another Victory for Polite Society

¦ dialling in from worstation ¦

08.58 GMT, Friday, 9th November 2007. A glorious sunny day, bright beams of golden light, crisp blue skies and a shudderingly wonderful ice cold breeze. The kind of weather to turn your cheeks rosy and make your nose sniffle. Meanwhile the South East of England is getting battered by a storm surge and they're worried about the Thames flood barrier being able to do its job: cyberpunk is getting ever closer to reality. Well I've been back from Newcastle for 4 days now and I've systematically ignored my brain snapping me awake at 4A.M. in order to grab a few more hours in bed... a direct result of being out late most nights this week. Last night Jo and Hagen joined me at the Watershed for a quick bite to eat, pint and an awesome documentary-film called "In the Shadow of the Moon"... absolutely compulsory viewing for anybody with the smallest spiritual bone in their base fleshly body. The nights out and late mornings have meant I've not been making much progress on Shadows of Quantinex, or writing up the editorial corrections for Yellow Dawn, but... hell, I think I deserve a little bit chill out time.

I have a friend in the states. He read my recent post about "too many monkeys in the cage" which is a reference to the dying embers of polite society... and I was delighted to get a response from him which included his own stand against the mass-of-rudeness-and-ignorance that now pervades Western society. I enclose a segment of it here:

QUOTE: "Earlier on in the year I'm on the 'L' train from Williambsburg into 8th Ave, Manhattan. 9:15am, you know the score - packed solid, everyone looking like zombies and miserable, it's a very unpleasant time of day. I'm "strap hanging" stood up over the folk sitting down. It's so crowded, there would be no way for me to change hands or turn. There's a guy sat down in front of me playing one of those phone games - with the volume up full. I can see everyone around me getting increasingly annoyed. The train empties out at 14th/Union Square. The guy - totally oblivious - still beeping away. Something strange happened. I snapped. This NEVER happens (although New York brings it out in people). I bark at him, "Don't you have a volume button on that thing!?" Naturally all the commuters look down. get more engrossed in their books, look away etc. Time freezers. The guy (and it's a guy, not some "whateva dick 'ed" teen) I see the sheer crack-out madness in his eyes. Cold terror. "Ah, I can see the headline I thought" MAN SLAIN OVER SUBWAY TETRIS ROW "What the FUCK did you just say?" Now I'm proud of the next part - no shaking, lip wobbling or wavering, I repeat myself clearly, loudly and in my best British Patronizing Tone (which weirdly kowtows them). 6th Avenue stop looms. "Man you should speak Englidsh MotherFucker!" - said in classic semi-intelligent Brooklyn broken-English... I just grinned at him - what a tool. Got off just as the doors opened and he was starting to rise to his feet. I walked off all casual like. Okay it was a stop before I wanted but I felt like I'd scored a small victory for Polite Society. :) I should buy some Mace." END QUOTE


Here! Here!

Djr

Monkey Magic

¦ dialling in from workstation ¦

08:43 GMT, Thursday 8th November 2007. Ahhhh *tranquil smile* I took a prudent approach today, following the sensible advice of a work colleague, and so avoided taking the regular bus in this morning. Instead I grabbed an extra hour in bed, then drove into Bath (lovely journey, blasting out Gary Numan I,Assassin), and used the Park & Ride. Amazing what a difference it makes to the start of your day, not having to deal with stupid people in the morning. I feel positively buoyant. Had fun round at Simon's Palace last night, met up with Nice Guy Tony, G-B-Hagen, Tom and Laura, and got into some simple yet satisfying roleplaying. It's especially nice to get those few minutes to socialise and banter, before the game starts, savouring the company of good people.

[]

 

Too many monkeys in this cage

¦ dialling in from workstation ¦

08:46 GMT, Wednesday 7th November 2007. Riding a down-rush of adrenaline. I didn't have to worry about Heavy Metal kid today. He was outclassed by an insuferable teenager who was playing her music full volume from her phone. I twisted round in my seat and called down the bus, "Can you turn it down please."

I got this smug smile beaming back at me, and her shouting "What? I can't hear you?" Two lads beside her got uncomfortable and told her I wanted it turned down. Nothing happened. I yelled "TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN!", like some nut-case. The volume lowered for a while.

When the bus pulled into the station I remained in my seat and waited for them to file down from the back of the bus. The ignoramus gave me an evil-daggers look; I returned it and followed them out. They stepped aside and I walked past.

"Wanker..." I heard her call under her breath. I span round and confronted her. "I didn't say nuthing," she snapped, scowling.

"Are you going to wear your headphones tomorrow?" I asked.

"No! Why should I?" Her scowl deepended.

"I think you should wear your headphones tomorrow," I pressed.

"Fuck you... why am I talking to you, dick." she responded.

Hmmm. I had to walk away. I mean what else can you do in the face of such stupidity?

Anyway, enough of my "turning into an old fart" rant. Here's a link to a great little movie about advertising.

http://www.makemylogobiggercream.com/


Djr

Back in Brizzle

¦ dialling in from workstation ¦

13:30 GMT, Tuesday 6th November 2007. Adjusting back into work routine after what feels like forever in Newcastle. Had a really good trip, although there was no longer that sense of a perfect bubble-world this time. Probably because my real-world is in such a good state of health at the moment. However, it was great to be able to take long walks in Jesmond Dene. Or stroll around the streets of Jesmond...picking up the threads of so many memories.

After a bruising from mum during the first few days, whilst playing a Norwegian card game, I finally turned the tables and devastated her, delivered a crushing victory against her. I think she was glad to see me go in the end. Heheheeh. Got back last night, Jo picked me up from the airport. Really lovely to see her, and great to come back to a home. I don't miss the Happy Flat, I don't miss being in Newcastle.

I was strangely looking-forward to coming into work this morning. I think it's a combination of liking the company/people, and still relishing the financial security of a contract again. Got on the bus and a couple stops later, Heavy Metal kid got on and started blasting his music out on his headphones. I thumped his arm and told him to turn it down, please. He did so but it gradually got louder again as we neared Bath, watch this space if he tries it on again tomorrow.

[]

5 Days Up North

¦ dialling in from Jesus Mound ¦

06:01 GMT, Sunday 4th November 2007. Dark outside, beyond the double French doors to my left, the dark mass of Jesmond Dene beyond. I'm sitting at the broad expanse of oak table, in the open-plan kitchen / lounge, a cavernous space, dark skylights above me. Silence fills the place. I've been here since Wednesday night: a quick train journey from Bath, picking up the coach-link to the airport, a swift flight, good landing, short Metro ride into Newcastle proper...off at West Jesmond Metro station, carrying my laptop satchel and a huge backpack full of all my gear. 10 minute walk home. This is my 1st visit since the new phase of my life began. Last time I came here (late August) things were...precarious; after 2 years writing, living on my savings and the sporadic income of freelance contracts. I've not seen anybody. A deliberate step. I wanted to savour Jesmond on its own. Just me, the house, my mum and Jesmond Dene. Regular visits to Kitsch'n Cafe but headphones plugged into my laptop maintained the isolationism. This visit made me realise how small and "village-like" the whole Jesmond thing can be. Same people with the same cynical and negative statements about life and the world. This irritated me and reinforced my desire to have some quality time in my bubble. Next door had a HUGE bonfire Friday night, divine, a ton of wood from the building site taking place across the road, old doors, bathroom fixtures, kitchen worktops... I sat there supping whisky and shooting the breeze with Pete for a bit. Mum has been kicking my arse at cards (Norwegian game) but the tide is turning now...

 

October "what's new" dump

October 2007. Two Norwegian newspapers have run full-page features on CLOUDY HEAD, you can see a scanned copy here, and here. I'm making steady progress with new novel "Dog Eat Dog" and with editorial and playtesting on Yellow Dawn. Busy promoting God Seed now. Press Release & Press Pack now available to download for God Seed: Press Release & Press Pack. You can read an article about the "print-on-demand" revolution in publishing by clicking here.

 

Perfect Rainy Sunday

¦ dialling in from workstation ¦

13:19 GMT, Monday 29th October 2007. It's been a glorious sunny morning. The journey into work, traversing the wild open countryside between Bristol and Bath was a real pleasure today... an endless procession of trees lit up and on fire, touched by the sun, errupting with autum colours.

Had a great weekend, although got off to a sluggish start...woke up at 4A.M., went downstairs, got a drink, went upstairs to the Sky Bunker, turned on some lamps, switched on the laptop, and then realised the room was starting to spin. Urrrrrr, damn, hangover, a legacy from a "quick drink" with my boss on Friday night...I only just caught the last bus home, and arrived in Bristol barely able to string a sentence together - and I had to go with Jo to meet her brother and his wife for a social.

Went back to bed then up again and a drive across to Gloucester Road, and sitting in my old favourite "coffee #1" by 11 A.M. Met up with Kevin to do character stuff, then over to Simon's for more character stuff, and then the rest of the day was my own. Jules Ms Scarlet came over and I cooked up a wholesome winter stew.

Sunday was perfect. Miserable grey rainy day outside, and I had no reason or intent of leaving the house. Fried up some quality bacon for the two women, served with warm croissants and big mugs of tea. Then spent the rest of the day doing 45 minute shifts in the Sky Bunker, working on Shadows of the Quantinex. Grabbed 10 minute power-naps between shifts, or spent a few minutes sitting downstairs...brewing up strong coffee in the metal gizmo Kelvin bought for me last Christmas.

Fell asleep on the sofa at 8.30, crawled upstairs to bed with that delicious overwhelming sensation of deep tiredness, fell into bed and slept right through to 5.30. So managed 45 minutes work on editing Yellow Dawn rules - currently creating new Great Old Ones and Outer Gods - before jumping back into bed with Jo, then mugs of tea on the sofa and News 24 before heading out to grab my bus.

Djr

A day at work...


¦ dialling in from workstation ¦

13:31 GMT, Thursday 25th October, 2007. What an awesome day. Buzzing on a recent adrenaline rush following one of the day's numerous surges of activity.

Currently sitting in a room of a hundered or so people, rows of desks, filled with creatives, techies, multimedia specialists, marketting and advertising people; I've got a little down time whilst I'm waiting for things to come back in.

My boss is playing the CD I just leant him, HYBRID - I CHOOSE NOISE rumbling through deep woofer speakers attached to his PC...

I've just viewed the outcome of two weeks work on a creative brief for a client; and I'm pretty pleased, not only is it a good bit of work, but I've been able to insert the Sony Houseman robot into the concept... one of my creations used in the novel IRON MAN PROJECT, and in the Yellow DAWN RPG.

I love all this.

Djr

UNKLE - War Stories & HYBRID - I choose noise

¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

08:41, Sunday 21st October 2007, baby blue sky above the canopy, golden hue of early morning sunlight, crisp and autumn fresh. I've got life support on, it's humming away down to my right, blowing warm air on my feet that are wrapped in a pair of hand-knitted Norwegian socks,with a second layer of wool hiking socks that must be 20 years old now (and still have my name label sown into the hem from when I used to wear them at School). I'm also wearing Starsky.

I've been awake for less than an hour; I left the delicious warmth of the bed, leaving Jo and Sarah sleeping. Just finished my 1st mug of tea, I spent many minutes sitting in the spare bedroom on the 1st floor, looking out the wide window with views across the city, the deep green slash of the river valley and surrounding forest (Bristol's answer to Jesmond Dene), the vast bulk of Dundry Hill rising up in the distance, through the mist, like some slumbering Cthulhoid giant.

Yesterday was my first session of Yellow Dawn since starting this new job/ new phase of my life. Excellent session. My brain is coping with a full time job and early morning wake-up/writing routine. Nice Guy Tony asked me to sign his copy of the Yellow Dawn rulesbook...which was a pleasure to do for him.

So now I'm up here, listening to two new albums I've got. What a treat for me to get these, now, at this point in my life. Rather than blend them into the vast mass of my music collection, part of the random play function, I'm now spending time playing them in isolation, side by side, repeating the experience again and again, embedding their sound into the memories of this period... ensuring that they become the soundtrack to this period.

UNKLE - War Stories (David J Rodger)
I've been into UNKLE since Matthias (Vega$) introduced me to them on a tape cassette in 1997. I walked around Amsterdam in the rain one weekend, with UNKLE as my companion to "the most beautiful Walk in the World". UNKLE became the soundtrack of my travelling tour across Canada.

HYBRID - I choose noise (David J Rodger)
I've been into HYBRID since going snowboarding in France in Jan 2005 with a bunch of people I didn' t know. Morning Scifi rocked my world and I've been eagerly waiting for something like this to come out of their creative womb ever since.

Both UNKLE & HYBRID deserve an understated roar of glory, a recognition that keeps them out of the minds of the mainstream chav-culture, they both create music that touches your soul, and elevates your imagination into new realms of emotionally charged awareness.

Plans for the day: I need to read through the existing material for Shadows of Quantinex, to pick up the threats left dangling from last November... and continue the editorial on Yellow Dawn (nearly finished first stage of this), both tasks don't require my laptop so I'm free to drive into town and grab a coffee, sit in the sunshine and savour my space and time.

Djr

Yellow Dawn...


¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

03:44 GMT, Thursday, 18th October 2007. Solid inky blackness against the canopy above me. Soft lamps glowing. Life Support down to my right, humming. Debussy and the LPO is playing via random selection on laptop. Fresh mug of tea on my desk. Ahhhh it's all so lovely.

I'm into my 2nd week of the new job and still loving it. The bus journeys are still wonderful although I have one small annoyance, called the Heavy Metal Kid, who gets on two stops after me and always decides to sit in my general vicinity with shit metal music (as opposed to good metal music) bashing away like a pair of crashing dustbin lids through cheap headphones. *rolls eyes and smiles ironically whilst recalling his own teenage days* It is probably my karma.

Last night I completed a 16 page supplement for Yellow Dawn called "Rogues Gallery", which contains a list of ready-to-play NPCs from criminal and military backgrounds. I'm planning to make it available as a FREE PDF download from the main site when Yellow Dawn goes live.

So I've got a choice this morning: start writing Dog Eat Dog, now that all the research, note making and plot & character development is finished, or, finish writing Shadows of the Quantinex, a major campaign for Yellow Dawn.

Whenever I spend a long time working on Game stuff, by the time I get back to starting a new novel I usually end up feeling like I've forgetten how to write...which for somebody in my position is a TERRIFYING experience to go through. But it happens, and I've worked through it with Dante's Fool, with Iron Man Project and with the first few completed chapters of Edge.

The way I'm thinking is:
() having a novel set within the Yellow Dawn world, ready at the same time as a I launch the game is a Nice to Have
() having a large, well written, deeply thought out scenario ready for people to play with this new game system...when it comes out...it a pretty Important To Have.

So...I'm going to finish writing Shadows of the Quantinex. Anyway, I've left Dog Eat Dog at a point where it is ready to pick and run with. I've left Shadows of the Quantinex in a draft that was dropped messily when my Dad died last November. It will be good to pick it up and finish it.

Wow...my eyes just welled up. Hmm, been having a lot of thoughts about Dad the past few days. Been getting quite emotional. Not sure if it's the approaching 1 year marker, or, the fact I've found closure on the crazy period that all started back in October 2004, a closure that was sealed with the new job, and now I'm starting to reflect on those 3 years with the benefit of distance, renewed confidence and perspective?

As far as progress with Yellow Dawn rulebook itself, I'm STILL doing editorial. Can't believe how long it's taken me but it is nearly 300 pages, and I am only doing a couple pages a day, so work it out; and this is just the note making. Next stage is to go back through the notes and update the master copy for publishing. I'm smiling though, because the longer it takes me to finish this, the more time I have to finish off all the ancillary products.

Right, time to upload this and then grab another mug of tea.

Then start writing! Yay!

Djr

 

 

The weekend is here

¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

05:30 GMT, Saturday 13th October 2007. Sitting wrapped in Starsky, life support blowing warm air on my bare legs, thick Norwegian socks on my feet. Darkness pressing down on the canopy above me. My favourite time of day...although I was kind of hoping for a lie-in today. *rolls eyes with a smile* Got back from work last night feeling deliciously exhausted (had a fantastic day). 15 minute power nap on the sofa and then a decision: stay in or go out. I jumped into Swampy, drove down to the Showcase and went in to see "The Kingdom". It's a not bad adrenaline flick... interesting trick of production when Chris Cooper came up on screen the film's score suddenly sounded a LOT like the Bourne Identity...and the interaction of all the FBI people was a lot like Chris Cooper's scene in that film.

Got back around 10pm, opened a bottle of wine, heated up some easy-cook noodles and fell into the sofa to watch the only bearable thing on TV on a Friday night (apart from the music video channels and news 24), which is QI. Love Stephen Fry. The man is an asset to England. Shuffled up to bed around 11... and blam... not long after 5 I'm lying awake in the dark deciding whether to try and go back to sleep or get up.

So, I'm up. I'm happy. I'm looking forward to my first weekend...

Djr

Near the end of my first week of new life phase

¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

18:50 GMT, Thursday 11th October. Ahhhh. What a lovely feeling. Settling down into my chair, at my desk, in the ambient and warm lighting of the sky bunker. Philip Glass is playing via random selection of laptop, just merging into Brendan Perry "I must have been blind". It's been another great day at work, another day seeing me smiling as I walk, savouring the sudden and dramatic upward shift in my circumstances.

I got out of bed this morning in the dark, only to find it was already 6AM... so I'm missed my 4AM writing slot, but I guess I must have needed the exra sleep so I'm not complaining, and I made good progress with Yellow Dawn last night (rather than heading out for a social with Hagen at the Mud Dock), so I'm not feeling like I'm falling behind. As the daylight began to filter through the windows I discovered Bristol was submerged in dense fog. This remained during my bus journey and I looked up from my notes on Yellow Dawn, as the bus passed through Bitton / Kelston, as I usually do, to savour the visual treat... the edge of the road beyond the windows of the bus bordered by dry-stone walling, green with moss, and the illusion of being miles up, lost in cloud, because the sharp drop beyond was obscured by the fog...only occaisionally would the skeletal form of a tree be vaguely visible... it was an altogether Cthulhoid bus journey this morning, and I loved it.

Parked myself in Bath's Boston Tea Party around 8.25am, and stayed there with a mug of coffee, editing the proof copy of Yellow Dawn until 9.15. Work. Wow. What a buzz. I'm loving it.

So now I'm back home. A mug of tea with Jo downstairs before I clamber all the way up here.

Djr

1st Day

¦ dialling in from sky bunker ¦


19:47 GMT, 8th October 2007. Got back from work just over an hour ago. My first day of work. Whooo-hoooo! What great day. I was up just past four but stayed in bed til after 5. Supped a mug of tea in the big green armchair, then cracked on with creating a Rouges Gallery of NPCs for Yellow Dawn, a wee mini project I want to get finished before I commence writing Dog Eat Dog proper. Planning to get it finished by the end of this weekend, it'll be a wee freebie to stick up on the Yellow Dawn website for GM's to download, a resource to help them populate scenarios with thugs, cops and random people.

6.30, jumped back into bed for a snuggle with Jo, then up again and sitting watching News 24 with another mug of tea by 7am. Out of the house by 7.25. The bus stop is only a couple minutes walk up the road. I felt so excited about my journey in, and about starting the job. Bizarre eh? The journey in was fab: beautiful country roads, hills and fields, early morning mist. A decent 30 minute chunk of time to sit, relax and read.

The job is intense. I haven't got a learning curve, I've got a learning cliff, but my boss is a dude, the company is awesome, the people are creatives...so I'm fitting right in... and the role has a great blend of corporate/creative demands. Spent my lunch break sat on bench in outside the Roman Baths, supping a pot of soup and a crayfish sandwhich from Pret whilst some guy played chilled tunes on a xylophone. If I was to score how I feel after my first day I'd say 10 out of 10. Easy bus ride back. Brain numb but closed my eyes for half of the ride and recharged.

About to zip into town and meet up with Nice Guy and Simon P. Yay.

A little bit later:

03:08A.M.

Just pinged awake about 20 minutes ago. Got up, made a mug of tea, came upstairs and sat with one soft lamp on, chilling with my thoughts. Did a 3-card spread:
() 3 of Swords -PAST
() The Sun - PRESENT
() 10 of Pentacles - FUTURE

Wow,awesome.

Had a fab night out with Simon and Tony. Tony shared some great news about Sophie. Simon has just got back from a holiday in Portugal with Orson and Vic (their first with Orson). We then spent 2 hours talking about Yellow Dawn mechanics and being nostalgic about old Call of Cthulhu, and old Game sessions. Got back around 10.30. Watched some rubbish TV. Bed by 11. So I'm not too sure what I'm doing awake this early but I'm running with it: a couple hours creativity then back to bed by 5 for another 1.5 hours sleep.

Peace

David

Where I'm at (and what I'm aiming for)

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦

08:04 GMT, Sunday 7th October 2007. Baby blue sky beyond the canaopy, chiffonous white clouds drifting high, really high, tinged with  pink, the last vestiges of a sunrise I missed. So much for waking up at 4A.M. again, as I'd hoped. I even went to bed at 10 O'clock... (on a Saturday night)... fighting the ideas sloshing around my brain, resisting the urge to get up again, brew a mug of tea and climb up into the sky bunker with the darkness pressing in tight and soft lighting creating a wonderful bubble to be creative within. I woke up about 7.45 from a deep sleep, groggy and clumsy as I pushed myself out of bed, downstairs, kettle, mug, tea bag.... upstairs into the backroom to sit in a small wooden chair with a view across the edge of the city, to distant hills of Dundry, vast swathes of green countryside all around, and the early morning light blending with gold beams of the sun. I smiled around that mug of tea and realised that I'm living in a moment, in a period, that I'll be remembering for many years to come. This is the end of July 2005 to Octobter 2007.

I'm looking forward to getting back into a work routine: different challenges, different parts of my brain getting used, different pressures and stresses; new people. I'm relieved that I've found something that pays the kind of money I'm used to. I'm really happy that I've scored a job in Bath, it means I can finally get to know that city better, and it means I'm closer to people like Mathias (Vega$) and Ms Zee West. I'm delighted I can take a bus into work, rather than drive: more environmentally efficient, an enforced buffer between personal world and work world, I can read a book, or stare out of the window at the passing countryside as this backroad to Bath (not the congested A4) snakes along the upper ridges of high hills that fill the space between Bristol and Bath.

Sure, the job might stress me out; I might miss the abruptly slashing of creative time from all-hours of every day for month after month, down to a couple hours every evening and my weekends...but, bloody hell, I've done what I needed to do. All current creative projects are secondary to what I've now completed. I have to reign in any impatience and frustration about progress and simply accept the fact they will now take longer.

This weekend was a good one. Friday morning I did my regular routine for the last time (Coffee #1 in the morning, then into town, stroll through harbourside to Watershed). Saturday I spent a couple hours fighting back the jungle in the garden. Then I went up into the sky bunker and finished the full notes for Dog Eat Dog, with some new plot developments I'm very pleased about. It is literally ready for me to start writing. I also finished off writing out comprehensive notes for "Red Desire ¦ Cold Murder", which is a novel idea, but will also be made available as a published scenario for Yellow Dawn. I'm still ploughing through the editing of Yellow Dawn...my god the thing is huge, and packed with great stuff: every time I read a little bit more of it I come away with a stomach fluttering excitement, like anticipation of Christmas as a child, from the idea of finally launching it. I've also got to start picking up the threads of the major campaign I was writing for Yellow Dawn this time last year (Shadows of the Quantinex); it is a major piece of work but I want to ensure it is ready to launch not too long after Yellow Dawn rulebook. I also need to make sure I have a handful of small scenarios to release with the rulebook, so people can get on with playing the game straight away. I also need to have Dog Eat Dog (which is a Yellow Dawn novel) ready to launch in a similar time-period. Current schedule looks like:

() Finish editorial of Yellow Dawn rulebook and be ready to launch: 1st March 2008
() At this point push to finalise Shadows of the Quantinex
() Complete writing Dog Eat Dog: 1st of May 2008

I've also got a simmering awareness of the novel I started and stopped (back in September 2005) in order to focus on creating the first edition of Yellow Dawn. I want to resume writing that around Autumn 2008.

So, quite a lot to get on with.

Djr

Changes


¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

14:48 GMT, Thursday 4th October, 2007. Sitting at my desk, squinting against the glare of sunlight streaming in through the canopy, but it's not warm enough to avoid having Life Support switched on.

I'm in a great place: Life went through some sudden twists and turns the past couple weeks. After a couple of unsuccessful weeks looking for work at the start of August I grabbed the option of a "low pay - long hours" role that had come my way through an associate who "needed a body to fill a gap in a client's team".

Mid-September I started the week long training course, and took two exams which I passed. However, at the end of that week, I recieved a phone call from two recruitment agents offering the kind of corporate/creative roles I was looking for.

I was in a dilemna, I was supposed to be starting the low-grade job on Monday, three days away...but I couldn't ignore these great opportunities. I talked it through with my associate and he was happy to "hold onto" the role until I knew what was happening. Phew. Monday came round, and I spoke to the 2nd agent, called ALEX. He had a dream-role for me, in a company I'd been hearing about for a while now... I said "Put me forward for the role".

Alex rang me the day after the interview. "COngratulations, you've got the job."

Wow. What a feeling. Nice Guy Tony was there in the Sky Bunker at the time, having a half-day of Yellow Dawn. I was whooping with joy, and then shaking like crazy with adrenaline. What a fantastic end to a huge chunk of creative-freedom / financial risk that began in July 2005 and ends in October 2007.

That was yesterday.

I was up at 4 A.M. again today, no alarm, just PING, my eyes flutter open and I surge awake. I lay in bed for a few moments contemplating this bright state of consciousness, a luxurious heat radiating from the sleeping form of Jo beside me... but I've got things I want to do and these are certainly my favourite hours of any day. Years ago, back in 1998, when I was halfway into writing Dante's Fool, I started a routine based around going to bed at 9pm and setting my alarm for 4 A.M. so that I could get in a good dose of writing before heading to work. I have great memories of that period, so I'm pleased to find myself waking up naturally and able to repeat the experience.

Padding downstairs in the dark, I made a mug of tea and then headed up here, into the SKy Bunker, switching on a couple of occaisional lamps, soft light in two corners, and my lava lamp on the desk. Black sky above me. Switch on Life Support, grab my seat and bring the laptop to life. Gentle hum of life-support. Random tunes playing quietly on the laptop running through stereo. And that adorable ambient stillness that is unique between 4 and 6 in the morning.

I've got an abrupt mini-project to complete, in between writing Dog Eat Dog and editorial of Yellow Dawn; it's a scenario idea / novel idea called Red Desire, Cold Murder. It's a working title so might change, but I'm pretty pleased...the whole concept came together in a couple days scribbled notes, and I should get the thing written up as a Yellow Dawn scenario by the weekend. Fingers crossed.

Winter is rolling in. I'm looking forward to pushing my creative projects onto the back-burner of weekends and evenings; and I'm really looking forward to getting my teeth into a new job: new challenges, new people, and a pay packet at the end of the month.

Djr

Buzzin'

¦ dialling in from the Watershed Cafe ¦

13:52 GMT, Sunday afternoon, 23rd September. Sitting at a square table in the cavernous space of the Watershed, near window overlooking harbourside, grey skies but a bright light...pale and misty. I'm on my 3rd mug of coffee... buzzing and relishing the weekend so far. Yesterday was an awesome day. Grabbed a delicious lie-in with Jo, then up and about around 8.30, mug of tea sitting downstairs watching News 24, then a short drive to Coffee #1... sat there for a couple hours writing up notes on Dog Eat Dog, before I knew it the notes became narrative and I was there, bang, in the story, part of it, breathing it, so I looked up after an hour had swept by, blinking, to find myself sitting in the cafe again. Love it when that happens.

Swung over to Hagens at noon and ended up spending the entire day with him. Can't recall the last time I did that, totally indulgent, relaxing and fun, a whole day with a good friend doing...stuff. We played Wii. We drank coffee and chewded the fat. We ran through a play test of Yellow Dawn systems. We grabbed a curry at the fab place near Simon's pad... then drove on to the Showcase and watched SHOOT 'EM UP. A totally bizarre film but very enjoyable, dark humour and delightful in the fact it didn't take itself seriously...very comic book action and plot. I dropped Hagen off, came home around midnight, and instead of flopping down in front of the TV with a glass of wine... I padded through the house with the lights off, savouring the silence, the moonlight streaming through the windows creating black silhouettes on the floor and walls... I brewed a mug of Camomile Tea and sat in a chair upstairs, gazing out across the city at the hills of Dundry, just visible in the moonlight, shrouded in mist with specks of sodium-orange burning through here and there. The camomile hit me like a sedative and I shuffled into bed and had a fantastic deep sleep.

Had an E-mail from Kenn-Ole, the artist behind the illustrations in Cloudy Head, and the front cover of Yellow Dawn: he sent me a copy of an article published in a Norweigan paper about him, about Cloudy Head, and about me, my writing, about Cyberpunk and the print-on-demand publishing revolution. All very exciting.

Take a look here:
http://www.davidjrodger.com/cloudyhead-helgelandarbeiderblad-publicity2007-09-23.jpg

 

Meanwhile, sales of my books are steadily increasing: big thanks to everyone who bought a copy this month.

I've also published MURDER AT SHARKY POINT, a murder mystery game. It comes in a spiral bound paperback, allowing you to photocopy the pages, or simply tear them out to play.

Take a look here:

http://www.lulu.com/content/1178668

 

Next week will be interesting. I've pushed PAUSE on the temporary job I was about to slot into... had a call from an agent on Friday regarding my CV, a prospective job role that is PERFECT for me... so fingers and toes crossed because it's all the best bits of my last job with a lot more focus on my creative skills.

Over & Out

Djr

Adjusting

¦ dialling in from sky bunker ¦

19:56 GMT, Tuesday, 18th September. Just come upstairs after eating a yummy meal I made, of thin-cut loin steaks with asparagus, in a cream and pepper sauce, with corn on the cob served with melted butter. I have an hour before my self-imposed computer curfew kicks in. A little rule I made for myself a few years ago... no working on the computer past 9 O'clock, although I think I might have to nudge that back by an hour when I start working my shifts.

So today was my second day of training. Pretty good; the company is very professional and there are aspects to the job I never guessed... so I'm learning something new. I also completed the first examination this afternoon, which goes toward my application for a license (from the governing body). I cut loose around 4 PM, so I was able to drive into town for a coffee. Interesting how having your day "occupied" by a job makes you appreciate and treasure your free hours...I've had 22 months of every day being my own... but in a strange way I quite enjoy the change in perspective. I might not be saying that a few months down the line when I'm sick of it and craving for my freedom back, but right now, it's all positive.

Last night I headed over to Simon P's for a mini-session of D&D. Very enjoyable. I spent tonight preparing the next scenario for Yellow Dawn; tomorrow night it's a Dead City run in Yellow Dawn with Nice Guy Tony: I'm really enjoying the increasing pace of the roleplaying schedule.

Today was the first really cold day since summer. Quite beautiful with golden sunshine.

Djr

 

Conclusion of the 22 Months of Creative Freedom


¦ dialling in from Sky Bunker ¦

08:30 GMT, Wednesday 12th September... after a couple weeks of lovely sunshine, the sky is low and thick with grey cloud. I quite like it; atmospheric. I went to see "Run Fat Boy Run " last night with Jo. Funny, although nowhere near as good as the usual Simon Pegg & Nick Frost double-act "Shaun of the Dead" or "Hot Fuzz", very much a 'feel good' flick. Jo and I had arrived by seperate cars; leaving the cinema she started walking quickly ahead of me, I increased my pace and walked alongside and then pushed ahead, she quickened her pace and then both of us were running and laughing to our cars: it was a race.

She won. Of course she won. She drives a modern car. I'm driving swampy.

So I'm enjoying my last few days of absolute freedom. I'm starting work next Monday. Not the kind of job I'd normally go after but somebody I know needs a body to fill a space and I need to start pulling in money, and I believe in the school of thought that says it's easier to find work when you're in work. Mind, it's going to be long hours for not-so-great pay.

The past three months I've been living on my credit card, a tax-rebate and royalties from God Seed. Can't believe it's been that long since I finished writing Yellow Dawn. Mind you, I had 6 weeks chillout in Newcastle, then a week in the South of France, another week in Newcastle and a week occupied by friends from far flung places around my birthday. I can see how time has flown by.

I really appreciate the fact I've been able to spend the past 22 months working on my creative projects. It feels like a lifetime, and it has been such a positive experience. Yes there have been dark times; uncertainty about the gamble I was taking with my life; my dad's prolonged illness and death; tough choices about heart and home. And sure, I've burned up all my savings, but I certainly made them last and got much from every penny, and it's been an interesting experience shifting from a lifestyle where for so many years money was never really a concern, where I was earning more than double what I needed to live on every month... to a lifestyle where I'm conscious of the value of everything I pay for. But my savings have produced three novels, a film script, an illustrated childrens story, and a game-system/fictional platform for writing new novels within...brought them into living paper and printing ink. They exist and people are buying them.

I've been getting regular updates from Floyd, my publicist in New York. He's really fighting my corner for me over there. What a hero. Everything is still within the quantum level of potentiality, but the opportunity exists to make great things happen.

New things are on the horizon. A seam of golden sunshine opening up ahead of me. When you strip away all the bullshit of modern-living, you can wake up in the morning, take your first conscious breath and smile into the new dawn. It's great to be alive and life is very much, what you make it.

Djr

The foreign contingent

¦ dialling in from Castle of Tranquility ¦ Woke up late today after a late night... the house was filled with people last night, wonderful, made a roast dinner and hosted a Murder Mystery (Murder at Sharky Point) both of which were a great success. Everyone left around midnight, leaving Jo, Kelvin and myself with several bottles of wine, to chill out in the front room - watching YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN for a while, laughing, smiling at the fresh memories of the night and feeling very happy about life. So shuffled downstairs this morning, Kelvin making us his famous "poached egg and chopped tomato breakfast"... brewed coffee... and I wrote down ammendments to the Murder Mystery that I feel would improve it. Dkr

Gathering...

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦

10:58 GMT - Monday 3rd September 2007 - this is the first chance I've had to sit up here, and be alone, for days. I got back from a very pleasant week in Newcastle, last Tuesday night. Wednesday I went to meet Zaniah who is back from Australia for a short while - spent the day with her. Thursday I went to pick up my little sister, who was over from London for my birthday... spent all day Friday with her in town... Saturday we were joined by Ramona who's flown over from New York, and Kelvin who is over from Spain. Final coffee and hang-out with my sister, before she headed back to London and the rest of us (Zaniah, Sonja, Kelvin, Ramona, Jo and I) piled into cars and drove to Oxfordshire... where we spent the weekend in a rambling country cottage with thatched roof and rooms leading off rooms, and hidden corridors...and so much good food: the place belonged to the parents of Hari, who is the mother of Indra...a young boy connected to Zaniah and Sonja... we had a long walk in some truly magical woods that were not enclosed by a city, but merged with wild open countryside... I devoured several bushes of wild blackberries during the walk, stopping every time I found a few more dangling in front of me.

So it's been a fantastic few days but I'm feeling a growing grumpiness about my lack of progress with my creative projects.

I'm also conscious I've not seen Simon, Tony, Hagen, Matthias or Dan for ages... *waves at you if you're reading this*


Djr

Another week in Newcastle

¦ dialling in from Kitsch'n Cafe - Jesus Mound ¦

20th August : 09:47hrs : sitting on long black leatherette bench seat, back perfectly straight, poised over small square red formica table and my new laptop. Large plate glass window to my left - a view of Acorn Road, strangely deserted at the moment. Big blue sky and white fluffy clouds, some beautiful sunshine but the temperature is COLD. The cafe door is wedged open so I'm sitting with my jacket on as a defence from the icy breeze.

My previous laptop died a couple weeks ago - in the South of France, and thankfully it has been a surprisingly unstressful experience. Found this one through Dell online, amazing price, and although I had to wait 10 days for it to arrive... I was graced by the support of friends willing to let me camp-out on thier PC and internet. I've always been pretty religous about backing-up my data... particularly my writing, so I've managed to migrate to the new laptop without losing any work (nothing I'm aware of yet).

Drove up to Newcastle yesterday afternoon with Jo - 4 and a half hours. Not a bad journey. Walked in and found the house looking amazing... mum had set the dinner table for the three of us and had prepared a fantastic meal.

Bounced out of bed this morning; Jo left around 7AM to drive down to Darlington for work. I watched News 24 then walked up to Acorn Road and Kitsch'n cafe. Big hello's with Sam. Later Derek walked in... and Mike... and Ian. Lots of friendly familiar faces.

[ skip ]

25th August: Saturday: 12:51 : sitting at the wide expanse of oak table in the breakfast area. It's been a lovely few days. Long mornings spent in Kitsch'n, editing my proof copy of Yellow Dawn, writing up character profiles for the stars of Dog Eat Dog... afternoon's spent back at the house... Jo getting back from work around 6.30... red wine, great food, Norweigan card games.

Jo departed Friday morning - I'll see her back in Bristol on Tuesday night. Have had a couple of nights out with Mike K: he needs to get out of Newcastle, I can see the thick chords of cabin fever wrapping around his throat every month he stays here.

Meanwhile I'm looking forward to getting back to Bristol. Looking forward to time in the house (Cosey Castle), getting back onto a career track (a proper job), being with my friends, writing the next novel and seeing Yellow Dawn reaching a point where its ready for release. Strange how time slows down when I'm here in Newcastle - certainly in Jesus Mound... I've been here a week and it feels like a month.

Have had more phone calls from New York, progress reports dialled in by my Super Hero - Mr Floyd - he's got a copy of God Seed into the hands of a lit agent over there *fingers crossed the agent likes it as much as everyone else* ... he's working on some guerilla marketing tricks.

Finally, Zed is back. Back from Oz. In Bristol right now. Can't wait to see her. Almost two years since she left. What changes will we both see in each other?

DJr

16th August 16:11 GMT

¦ dialling in from the Watershed Cafe, Bristol ¦

 

Got my new laptop. A nice shiny Dell. Cheap and cheerful but I like it.

It was interesting being without a computer for a week, it didn't really miss it, but then I had things I was able to work on with pen/paper... all my Dog Eat Dog notes, and editing Yellow Dawn...the hardcopy of the first proof.

Dog Eat Dog now has the major plot points mapped out; the characters have some basic existence and I know how everything hangs together. Thanks to Simon P, Dom M, and Tony J for having the patience to listen to me talk through the plot.

Yellow Dawn - I'm so glad I delayed the launch. Gives me unlimited time to edit the text and make things right.

God Seed:  back in July 22nd, I was riding the coach to Bristol airport and I got a call from Floyd in New York, his words were "You don't know how much in awe I am of your talents, David; your book God Seed totally overwhelmed me. I knew you were good but I never dreamed you would be this good."

I was totally stoked. What a fantastic compliment. Floyd has promised to do everything he can to promote God Seed and my writing in the States.

And he's been true to his word. He's got a copy of God Seed into the hands of William Gibson; whether WG will read it or not, or even like it, I have no idea, but I truly appreciate the effort made by Floyd, and the pretty girl he talked into getting the book into WG's hands.

Meanwhile, The Crack magazine, in Newcastle, have included a peice on God Seed in the August edition.

The past few days have been busy busy with job hunting. No interviews appearing yet. I hope something comes up soon. I need money.

Over & Out

Djr


 

Update after 40 days and 40 nights in cyber wilderness

¦ dialling in from HIAB-X Lab 1 ¦

8th August, 2007
Seems like an absolute AGE since I last posted here. I was in Newcastle for a month, came back for two days, and then bounced back to Newcastle for another week (able to hang out with Adz who was over from San Fran), then back to Bristol, long enough to catch some sleep before setting off at midnight and driving to Stanstead to catch a 6AM flight to Montpellier with Jo and her twin sis, Sarah... hire car.... 15 minute drive to Perols, and by 9.30AM I'm sitting in 36c with a cup of strong black coffee in my hands.

The South of France trip lasted for a blissful week. Daily trips to vast sandy beaches, sitting in the sun, reading, writing notes on Dog Eat Dog, and swimming in the Med. This was my final blast of total freedom before reality sucked me back... all thanks to Sharky dumping a couple hundred quid in my bank account to pay for it, saying "you deserve a good holiday"

So thanks and much love to Sharky.

There was one day of rain during the France experience... which was perfect, as it meant the sun-junkies, Jo and Sarah, were forced off the beach, and allowed me to grab a ride to my favourite location in the area; a medieval crusader fort called "Aigues Mortes", which is going to feature in Dog Eat Dog, and probably a number other Yellow Dawn spin-offs.

However, several grim things have happened. 1) my laptop died. 2) bust my glasses. Ultimate bad-timing. Money situation is not good, and I'm now back in the UK, trying to find work without access to my files, a PC, or internet.

Luckily found a spare pair of glasses from the original "get two specs for the price of one" deal back in 2004. So at least I can see, and don't have to fork out a couple hundred for a new pair right away.

Thankfully Vega$ rang me today, and said "come over...I'm busy building but you're free to use the computers and internet..." this has been a total lifesaver...

Also getting great support on the God Seed front from Floyd in New York, who now seems to be on a mission to get me as much exposure as possible. I've had the publisher send him 3 copies of God Seed.... lets see what he can do with them. *fingers and toes crossed*

Yellow Dawn has gone in exception, which isn't a bad thing. Hagen's done me a new countdown timer, not that I can actually upload it to my website because I don't have the right tools, until I get a new laptop ARrrrrgggh...... but at least I've got a couple proofs in hardcopy to get on with editorial and system-testing.

Dog Eat Dog is now a paper-based project again. Which is kind of nice in a strange way, but very time consuming.

I'm in a really challenging period of life again. Not surprising, really, when you think I've had absolute freedom since April 2006...

Anybody want to offer me movie options on God Seed? £500K would make me very happy right now....

...actually, just £400 quid for a new laptop would be very much appreciated too! *smiles*

Over & Out

Djr

South of France

¦ dialling in from a lounge in the South of France ¦

20:25 in a place called "Les Lac des Reves" outside Perols, near Palavas and Montpellier. Golden sunlight slopes through mosquito nets, everything is moving in the strong yet warm breeze blowing across the lake. I'm sitting cross-legged on the floor, my back against the base of a sofa, laptop on a tiny coffee table... there's a my Konica Minolta Z5 camera, a half-drunk glass of Leffe, and a copy of Andy McNab's "Recoil". On the small but excellent ghetto-blaster to my right, I'm playing MITHODEA by Vangellis. Jo and her sister, Sarah, have gone out for a night in Palavas. I've done it several times before... and I'm in the mood for a night alone with my imagination...working on the plot lines of Dog Eat Dog.

It's been a good day. Woke up around 10.30 after a night of crazy dreams (yet more). A mug of tea outside in 36c to wake up, then paper scissor stone with the sisters to see who had to trudge down to the local shop for bread. I lost. It's only a ten minute walk there and back. Another mug of tea whilst Jo sliced the french stick into 3 and stuffed it with ham, port salut and tomato. I added freshly chopped garlic to mine. Wrapped up in kitchen foil to be enjoyed later. Sarah drove the hire car - a TWINGO - to a local beach around 12 pm. We stayed there until 5.30...during which time I read Andy McNab, made notes for Dog Eat Dog -whilst clutching every sheet of paper against the strong hot wind - and went for swims in the sea.

Getting back here, we lounged outside on the patio... drunk coffee and listened to CD's... I showered, washing away sun lotion and gritty sand, leaving me with that delicious fresh skin feeling, and then made dinner around 7pm, Fajitas, washed down with Leffe.

20:37 the glass of Leffe is empty. I'm halfway through a litre bottle of the stuff. Time for a refill. I was planning on writing up notes for Dog Eat Dog tonight but a day of sunshine followed by evening beers has left me with a brain like cotton wool. I might just lie down and listen to Vangellis, drink my beer and chill with a smile on my face.

Next week, back to Bristol.

Djr

Strange things in the night - next door...

¦ dialling in from Jesus Mound ¦


14:43 GMT  I forgot to mention the main event that occured last night, after I got back...partially soaked from the torrential rain. I poured a glass of wine and threw myself down onto the comfortable sofa bed, in Dad's room, which has been my home for the last 2 weeks. Flicked on the TV and  found The Burbs was on. One of my favourite flicks to watch on repeat. I was chuckling away at Tom Hanks looking down from his bedroom window, watching his neighbours, the Klopeks, out in the pouring rain with lanterns, hacking away at their garden with shovels, as if digging up a grave...

... the commercial break comes on and I shuffle through to the kitchen for a refill of wine. Outside the rain is still hammering down. Something catches my eye. A flickering light, coming from near the bottom of next door's garden (Les' side). I squinted through my own reflection in the window but couldn't see a thing. I turned off the kitchen lights and could now clearly see the flickering glow of...a lantern, and what looked like a figure out there in the rain. Eh? What?

I hurried upstairs to mum's room, cracked open the window and took a better look. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Almost an exact duplicate of the scene on the television a few minutes earlier... one man, dressed in a heavy coat slick and glistening with rain, standing near an electric lantern, weilding a shovel and digging up the earth.  I looked closer. There was Les, the neighbour, digging something up out of the earth...he'd reached a point where he'd cleared away the top layer of soil and was now carefully scraping away the deeper soil so as not to damage whatever was down there. The features of his face were creased with concentration, there was an urgency and desperation in his expression.

I couldn't believe this.

I hurried downstairs, pulled on my boots and a raincoat and headed out into the back garden... Les didn't hear me approach because of the rain, so when I muttered BOO right behind him the guy shrieked like a girl and nearly expired from a heart attack on the spot. The shovel that had been in his hand ended up about two metres away as his whole body convulsed in shock. I was in a humerous mood but also slightly wary I was about to discover the nice-bloke-who-lives-next-door was digging up some forgotten child...or worse?

Les explained what was going on and I nearly fell over laughing.

Les pointed at the soft form, wrapped in plastic he was digging up... I went over and took a closer look. At that moment, a door in the back of Les' house opened up and a large stocky man started striding towards us. What the fek? Who was this?

As the large men stepped into the lantern light I saw his face was scrunched up with some painful emotion.

Oh my God...

I stepped away respectfully as the man dropped down onto his knees next to the hole, and started gently clearing away the last of the rain-sodden earth with his finger... his shoulders shuddering with quiet sobs.

You see, dear reader, Les, my very nice neighbour, had agreed to look after this man's most treasured pet a few days earlier... a big, floppy eared rabbit. Unfortunately for Les, the rabbit had caught some kind of virus and died. Les felt terrible, especially with it dying on his watch. When the man had returned from his trip and found out Les had done the decent thing, and buried it, the man demanded to have the body of his bunny back. Apparently the man knows a taxidermist.

I spoke with Les today. The rabbit, it seems, is about to become immortalised... stuffed... to sit forever on the guy's desk.

Life is surely stranger than fiction sometimes, I swear.

Djr

Love that rain

¦ dialling in from Jesus Mound ¦

09:39 GMT, sitting at the wide expanse of oak table, French doors to my left are open, letting in a cool breeze damp with recent rain and the smell of the dense mass of trees beyond the garden. I'll be down there in a while... a regular walk through the woods, following tracks that ascend and descend the steep sides of the ravine.

Random selection on laptop is playing soundtrack to Bourne Identity. I'm sitting in T-shirt, underpants, wearing Starsky and  big fluffy Norweigan slippers... two days stubble... hair sticking up in some pillow-based explosion, but only on one side, the othe side of my head the hair is flat and lank. I'm feeling slightly hung-over.

Today is Friday 6th; I was supposed to be back in Bristol last Tuesday, 3rd... but Freddy (lodger) is away for 2 weeks now; mum is still away in the Arctic... so several thoughts came out of this situation...also if I did leave, I was going to be back here in Newcastle in 2 weeks anyway... spoke with Jo and she suggested I stayed up here. I agree. She then suggested I came to the South of France with her and her sister after Newcastle... Christ... I need to actually stop and find a job. But I agreed. A holiday together would be a good thing for both of us...

Went out last night with some of the Be-Safe's and associated crowd: Helen, the celloist, Alex, his ex, Sophie, and his current, Sammy. What a fantastic bunch of people. I feel like I've stumbled onto a gold mine... creative characters with deep souls, sharp intellect, broad interests and openess. Just lovely.

Yesterday was an important day. Sitting in Kitsch'n cafe with Mike, I composed my letter to Chaosium, seeking advice on possible copyright infringement with Yellow Dawn including references to the Cthulhu Mythos. It was a strange experience, because Chaosium have been a huge part of my life, ever since I was 14... So fingers crossed for a positive response.

I spent some time sending E-mails to anybody I know, advising them of the fact I've scored some good publicity. It has already led to a rise in sales of God Seed. The only way I'm going to be able to succeed as a writer, is if this publicity can lead to more publicity...if I can start a snowball effect.  I really need this now, because my writing-fund is empty. I am officially broke. A state of existence that has suddenly brought me a lovely gesture of generosity... I was speaking with somebody yesterday about my finances and they gave me £200... I am stunned and humbly grateful

In their words, "I've seen how much effort you've put into this David [...] holidays should be enjoyed, so now you can enjoy it."

*THANK YOU*


12:33 GMT, just got back from a divine walk down the Dene in the rain. The smell of the trees is like a fine wine on my tongue, and the dense texture of water vapour from the falls, slightly dank yet invigorating when you breathe it in deep into your lungs. There was almost nobody down there. Just two solitary souls like me, dressed in a plastic hooded poncho and drifting through the woods and downpour with a serene smile on their lips.


Plan for the day: get a bloody shower, head up to Kitsch'n, drink coffee, work on new novel (Dog Eat Dog), then back here for more creativity: my man flu is gone, my brain is fully back online... no rest for the wicked.

Djr

Monday - been here a while now...

¦ dialling in from Jesus Mound ¦

14:39 GMT, sitting at the wide expanse of oak table, French doors to my left are open, letting in a cool breeze damp with recent rain and the smell of the dense mass of trees beyond the garden. A bird is singing an interesting song; it's calls repeated and echoed deeper in the woods. I'm alone in the house, relaxed and very happy.

Seems like a long time since I wrote anything for the blog. I flew up here from Bristol in the middle of June, with Jo - she had work going on in the North East. I continued to crash. Spent days in bed, watching shite, drinking mugs of tea and munching fruit... anything requiring me to think made me feel dizzy and ill. Jo left at the end of the week and I decided to stay on, and I'm still here now, two weeks later.

Yellow Dawn has hit a bit of snag; potential copyright issues with Chaosium owning the rights to many things Cthulhu... I could just take out the section on the Mythos, as it is not essential to the game, but I'd prefer to be able to keep it in...so I need to write to Chaosium and see what's what.

To be honest though... I just need more time to get my energy back.

Falmouth University have set up an online Writing Centre; the lead guy asked me to write an article about God Seed, and he seems keen to use it, and plug God Seed, which is great news. I'm also pleased because the Writing Centre is a great resource for writers and I'm enjoying being part of something so positive and constructive.

I had a random encounter with a band on Thursday night; I'd gone to a pub with Freddy. I said I'd like to hear their music, they said "come to our gig tomorrow night". I offered to do some publicity shots for them and they agreed. So I got to see them play and I liked it so much I bought their CD.  Check them out at www.myspace.com/thebesafes  Fred left early because he had to catch a 6 A.M. flight to Milan the next day, meaning he'd had to be up at 4 A.M, I was halfway out the place with him, when I thought, what am I doing, this is Newcastle... I can walk home if I can't get a lift, the city is so small and compact. So I stayed; ended up in a party back at the band's house. Finally got home at 10 A.M. Great night.

Some of you who've read the short story FLINCH (published Alternate Species), or who bought a limited first edition of Iron Man Project, might recall a character called Raymond Fox. He's based on a guy I met in New York back in 1998, and partied with in New York and London for the next 36 months. Then he vanished and that was the last I heard of him. Got an E-mail from him 3 days ago, "Remember me? Here's my mobile. And I've just moved to Bristol."   I was floored.  We spoke briefly on the phone; going to hook-up when I get back to Bristol.

Gordon Brown took over as PM recently. The news is dominated by two stories at the moment: massive floods in the Midlands, and three car bombs (failed attacks) in London and Glasgow. Gordon Brown appears on screen to assure the nature... he comes across with a frightening sense of control: is he a good guy or bad guy? How far will the anti-terror laws be extended now? How many more civil liberties will be removed in the name of "security". Nostradamos and George Orwell seem to be strange bedfellows at the moment.

Djr

GOD SEED - Press Release and Press Pack

DOWNLOADS AVAILABLE:  Press Release & Press Pack

I've reached the hard part. Growing a hunger for the book.

I need as many people to know about my book as possible. More importantly I need magazines, papers, blogs, forums and radio stations talking about my book.

I've been writing, sweating, struggling, sacrificing, pushing, shoving and fighting for my art for 18 years.

Now I've finally got a chance to break out into the open.

I have to do all this on my own. There's no big publisher with a huge sales team and vast corporate marketing division behind me.

Can you spare five minutes of your time to help me?

If you're willing, would you send the Press Release & Press Pack onto all your friends and contacts, anybody who you think might be remotely interested in a book that has so far been very well received.

Finally, if you're really willing, take a look at the papers and magazines you read, or think about what radio stations you listen to, or any fanzines or web-forums, and ping them a copy of the press release & press pack, with a subject line: "British novelist pushes for global success through..."   I'm trying to generate a media interest in the fact I'm riding the forefront of a new publishing revolution.

That's it.

That's all I ask.

Help me achieve my dream.

Best wishes and kind regards

David

DOWNLOADS AVAILABLE:  Press Release & Press Pack

Body crash

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦

11:22 am, Sunday morning. Intermittent sunshine and thick clouds overhead. My brain is a mess. Some kind of summer flu, or just a symptom of exhaustion? Been up since 6.30... necking mugs of tea on the sofa, watching News 24, wishing I could spend the day there but my mind won't let me relax... I've just spent 45 minutes listening to a BBC3 radio production on H.P.Lovecraft; Ciaran pointed out the link and Hagen copied it onto CD for me. It was great hearing Lovecraft being discussed with such sincerity, with appreciation of his real value within American literary history...and, I suppose, English reading audiences. It was also kind of odd hearing well-educated British voices discussing the "Cthulhu Mythos". Does this mean that Lovecraft might enter mainstream consciousness? He's always been an influence... but rarely a visible power. Will my own spin of weaving within the Cthulhu Mythos be accepted....?

I managed to spend most of yesterday away from everything that has absorbed my life the past few months. I sat in a cafe in beams of sunlight, reading one of my old Iain M. Banks novels... I closed my eyes and switched off my brain... I walked to the Cathedral and remembered dad, lighting a candle and sitting for a while thinking about him...I can still vividly recollect him in my minds-eye, the very last moment I saw him, smiling at me from the hospital bed as I grinned back at him.

Being in town, I had a proof copy of God Seed in my bag; I didn't need it anymore so I wrote a small message in the front "Dear Reader...",  scribbed in the ISBN number, and then handed it over to one of the random book sellers that set up stall outside the Watershed. I wonder, if I will ever hear about it again.

I've just selected the soundtrack to The Mothman Prophecies...it's sombre, easy listening and suits my state of mind. I've got a funny feeling I'm going to end up spending the whole day sitting here again.

 

08:09am, Monday morning. Within seconds of writing the last sentence I got a phone call from somebody I've not seen in years: Mick T. He was in the area, "shall I pop round?"  Hell Yes, I Said. It was great to see him and I noticed how energised I became having human company. Maybe part of my exhaustion is a symptom of isolation? Up here in the Sky Bunker day after day? Not long after Mick left, Nice Guy Tony came round...and stayed for about 5 hours. It was lovely to just sit with the guy and talk, nothing else to do, just talk... by time he left my flu was kicking into full affect, strange gungy fluids oozing from my sinuses and an increasing throbbing ache in the back of my head and all my joints. Jo returned with Sarah, her twin, and we snuggled up on the sofa watching CSI, then Vanished, I necked flu pills and red wine and sank into numb oblivion. Woke up this morning with my hand wedged between Jo, and Sarah's buttock...so I quoted the John Candy/Steve Martin scene from Planes Trains... Laughs all round. Feeling a lot better today. More publicity work on God Seed then work on preparing for the Yellow Dawn launch.

I'm catching a flight to Newcastle tonight...then a whole week of being in the Jesus Mound bubble world. Kitsch'n cafe on Acorn Road and long walks through the Dene. Mike, St John,  Richy, Ciaran, Pete. Mum, Norweigan card games and home cooking. Fantastic.


Djr

 

Fear...

¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

08:26 Just finished the 1st mug of tea of the day; watched news 24. Now I'm up here, blue sky and white clouds that are thickening towards the threat of heavy rain. Went out with Jo last night, popped into Boca Bar for a drink...I've not been there in months. She commented that I was acting tense, and I realised I was. Reasons: I bought the ISBN number for God Seed that day...which ironically used up the last of my money; but it symbolises a new level of seriousness in what I'm doing and trying to achieve. And part of me is terrified. Strange. But in a couple weeks God Seed will be available to wholesale retail chains, and I'll be sending out the press release and press packs to anybody who'll give a thought to read them...and then it's in the lap of the gods. What's strange is that I'm not afraid of failure. I'm afraid of success.

 

The Best Book I Never Read

¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦


08:03 Thursday morning 14th June. Smudges of baby blue are seeping through a white sky... we've had the promise of heavy rain from the weatherman but so far it's shaping up into a nice day. It's certainly started on an amazing footing.

The best book I never read. Jump back to 2002. I'm travelling around the US. Sonja had given me a book to read during my travels. A tale of reincarnation spanning five centuries. Really well written, I was loving it when, one afternoon in New York, I left it behind in a cinema and by time I had realised and run back to fetch it...it was gone.

Worse still, I could not for the life of me remember who wrote it?! Neither could Sonja. I thought it was called "To Dream No More". And so, for years afterwards I regularly stopped in 2nd hand book stalls and browsed for the best book I never read. I checked with the major booksellers: nothing. I browsed the Internet: nothing. And so I realised that it would be down to serendipity...almost like that scene from the film with John Cusak. The book would show up one day.

Jump to now.

I was relaxing in the big green armchair, taking a break, when suddenly the name Josephine Conran popped into my mind. Josephine Conran, To Dream No More...that was it, I was sure of it!!!  I searched the Net and....nothing. Nooooooo. Bugger shit damn.

On a whim I changed the title to "To Sleep No More".

One search result, for somebody called James Conran.... and something to do with dark fiction. I clicked on the link. Error. The link took me to a dead site. But....wait, click back to the google search result. Dinah Lampitt. To Sleep No More.

To Sleep No More by Dinah Lampitt

That is it!!!!

I'll buy it, and maybe I find that it was never as good as I recalled, but I'm totally stoked that something I've been searching for has come round for me.

Djr

Brushing hands together with satisfaction...

¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

13:59 Wednesday 13th June... the sunny morning has been consumed by dense and brooding clouds, blue and white replaced by the colour of lead.

My brain has finally rebooted after the total shutdown that followed my completion of Yellow Dawn (2nd ed). I must have really been burning the last of my mental reserves to get it done. Mind you, I did find myself in a party until sunrise the next day so maybe lack of sleep had something to do with it...

I've spent the morning preparing for the marketting and publicity drives that will come next. Part of this involved me removing two of my novels from public availability. The past few months has provided me with a clear indication of which novel to focus on for a first launch: God Seed.

The other two will remain off-line for the time being, to be officially released at later dates. For those of you who bought into all my work, well done, you've now got some limited first editions in your possession.

Time to brew another pot of coffee; my afternoon is going to consist of writing press releases, and creating Press Kits for God Seed and Yellow Dawn...I actually find this harder than writing the bloody books! *rolls eyes above a grim smile*

Catch you all on the flip side.

David J Rodger

Aiiieeeeeee so close but...

¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

17:54. Washed and squeeky clean, I've got that damp squidgy feeling going on in my ears...sitting with a towel wrapped round my lower half, otherwise dressed in a clean shirt. The weather's not much improved on grey...other than the temperature has steadily increased beneath the murk. I'm killing time before I head out on a photo-shoot. Three ladies who are opening up a female pampering service. It's a welcome break from the nerve-jangling approach towards the end of Yellow Dawn. I completed the back cover and promotional text today... God why is it always so hard to write copy like that?! Looking really good. God can't believe 6 months of 12 hour days is coming to an abrupt end... tomorrow probably. Just one last thing and then that's it. Done. Part of me feels like celebrating tonight but I know I should just come home after the shoot and push on towards the end. A friday night date with my laptop...and a glass of wine. Looking forward to my lady coming back.

Somebody's going to win 10,000,000 GBP tonight. Imagine what you could do with that. Here's dreaming.

Djr

 

Almost there...

¦dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

06.10 Am Friday morning 8th June. So much for the English summer. A solid bank of dull grey sits beyond the blister window. I don't actually mind, it's made it a bit easier being locked away up here; I've spent the last month sitting up here about 12 hours a day.

I finished laying down the text for Yellow Dawn on Wednesday. Jumped in my car and headed over to Bath for a night of getting shot to death by Boba Fet (Matthias)...another Star Wars Battlefront II extravaganza.

I should finish reviewing text and insering images today. Then I need to create a back cover, and I'm done.

I feel done in.

Woke up at 5.30 AM with a start. Was having a pretty uncomfortable dream, where somebody stole my bag from a cafe / club; I knew who stole it but there was no way to prove it... then suddenly, within the dream, I realised the bag contained my laptop AND my backups. All my novels. All of Yellow Dawn. Gone. I jumped out of bed in a freaked-out heart pumping state, had a fight with a spider web (why was there a BIG spider web in the bedroom?) then pulled on some clothes and trudged downstairs. 1 mug of tea sorted out my brain.

06.55 A.M. I've written some E-mails. Written the "foreward" for Yellow Dawn. Time to make a 3rd mug of tea and crack on with the surreal world.

Djr

6th June - completed laying down text

¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

3.30 pm Wednesday 6th June. I've reached the end of laying down text on Yellow Dawn (2nd ed). Have now started process of reviewing the text on each page, inserting images from Amy Armstrong and preparing it for publication. Fingers crossed should have it done by the end of the weekend. Too brain frazzled to really comprehend the achievement. Just looking forward to being able to switch off when it's all done.

Exciting progress with the Baraka project, I've been asked to be an associate creative and I'm finally seeing some work coming my way I can get my teeth into. Could be the next 'big thing' on the Internet.

Was also excited by the trailer for the new Bourne film. I caught the trailer yesterday, when I went to see Zodiac. I grew up on Bourne, and all Ludlum novels... and I've been thrilled to the very bone by how well the film production has captured the essence of Ludlum perfectly, whilst shifting the context to the 21st Century. I am also deliriously happy to discover UNKLE have done the soundtrack: i could not think of a more absolutely perfect ensemble.

However, I end on a grim note. The logo for the 2012 Olympics. It's an absoluter disgrace. 400,000 GBP for a piece of utter rubbish that looks like it's the product of a stuffed gorilla falling from a pedestal clucthing a can of pink paint and a stencil set. They've now discovered the logo is triggering epilepsy in some people. 400,000. Four hundred THOUSAND. It's cronyism at its most obvious and it would strike me that "Lord" Coe has become a backseat crook?  Anyway I've signed an online petition against it, demanding it be removed.

www.gopetition.co.uk/petitions/replace-the-london-2012-logo-now.html

 

 

Jesus it's June

¦ dialling in from downstairs ¦

09:26 Monday morning. I've been up since 7 despite an incredible tiredness that has permeated every pore in the fibres of my being...like a warm slighly soporific fluid soaking into a spongey mass. It's quite a pleasant head-space but's doing nothing to dispell the surreal quality of my life right now. Over a year spent writing. Think about it.

I'm tired following an excellent adventure. Friday I got a call from Dan, to say that one of his closest friends Nathan was having a 40th birthday bash at some ancient manor house, out in the sticks. I'd met Nathan twice. Once was back in January on a random night out with Dan; met Nathan and his g/f and struck a real connection with them both, a really lovely moment in time when you encounter new people that you really like, and who like you. So Nathan had asked Dan to invite me to the party. Timing could not have been better. I was riding the jagged front end of several days pushing hard towards the end of Yellow Dawn (2nd ed)... my brain was frazzled and the idea of being away from the city (and my laptop) for 24 hour was delightful. Plus, camping was involved. It was something to look forward too.

Saturday morning I dug into Yellow Dawn. I'm so close to finishing...I just wanted to keep going. At the same time, I can feel fitness levels dropping: i'm ignoring all routines, and other things are just not getting done whilst I channel 110% of my energy into this final stage.

I phoned mum and we resolved the "flare-up" of trouble that resulted from my sister, and my sister's dislike of me using photos of Dad on the website.

Dan rang me at 1.30 pm..."Coming? Want a lift?" I'm glad he did otherwise I might have talked myself into sacrificing yet another fun-thing-to-do in the name of progress and punishing myself with creative deadlines that don't need to be so harsh.

I parked Swampy at Dan's place, and rode with him and his V-dub out to the location. The house would not have been out of place in The Shinning. It was magnificant yet brooding. A vast array of colourful characters stood around the sun-drenched gardens. I sipped Pimms and drifted between clusters of strangers who were all open to a new bod stepping up and saying "hello". It was great. Lovely people. Random moment: One bloke was called David, and lived in Newcastle, in fact, he lived in Jesmond, and took photographs; I was half expecting him to tell me he wrote books too.

I ended up in my tent a some point long beyond midnight... enough beer and wine in my belly to help me sleep. But not enough to keep me asleep when the bird chorus started up at 4...5...? I don't know. I was nice though, to lie there, comfortable in a thick sleeping back and carrymat, rolling over from time to time, drifting in and out of a doze... I thought about Jo a lot and had real big pangs of missing her. Around 7.30 the sun started turning the tent into a humidity box... the smell of body odour mixed with blokey-beer farts became tangible as the air heated-up. I yanked open the tent flap and sat in the cool stream of fresh air for a while. Outside were a collection of vans, and cars with tents beside them. A small dog was chewing on a tennis ball. Birds wheeled around overhead and nothing stirred. I crawled out the tent and made my way through expansive gardens to the house. There must have been 40 people sleeping in there and yet there wasn't a sign of anybody, or a single sound. I made a mug of tea and sat outside for a bit. Read a bit. Made more tea. Helped Nathan clear up bottles and beer cans for an hour or so, then grabbed a ride back with a couple who were heading into Bristol; they were great actually, a really fun pair of people... I would have suggested getting a coffee with them or something but my brain was telling me I'd actually not had much sleep, I needed a bath, and I had a game of Yellow Dawn happening in an hour. They dropped me off at Dan's (I'd left Dan crashed out asleep in his V-dub parked next to where I had pitched my tent) - I drove Swampy back home and had that lovely feeling you get when you know you can just...relax. For a small time at least. Food. Bath. Prepare for Yellow Dawn.

Excellent game session, and probably the last to take place with the rules "still-in-development". Next time we get together Yellow Dawn should be finished, and a hardcopy should be sitting on the table with us. *fingers crossed*  Had a new player start: a guy called Mark, or a Goth-On-Crutches as he calls himself. I had my usual jitters...the same as I had with Hagen, and then Kevin...but again there was no need to worry; he's a fabulousplayer, slotted right into the group and added a new colour.

Everyone left around 7pm. I shuffled over to the take-away with my eyes half closed. I threw blankets over my body on the sofa; chowed down, slumped into blissful langour, and watched TV until I fell asleep sometime after "Trading Places".

Djr

 

 

May's What's New Log

 ¦ dumped from main web page ¦ May 2007. I'm past the halfway point on Yellow Dawn 2nd Edition. Thank God; this has got to be the hardest project I've ever had to complete. The novels are selling nicely; still no marketting yet. What Myspace has done for music, and LoveFilm has done for DVD's, the publisher I'm using is doing the same for books, a global market and no need to worry about distribution. "God Seed" was last month's Best Seller. MOOD: creative determination.

Light Sabres and AT-AT's

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦

07:58, life support is humming away to my right... it's freezing again today. End of May and it's like early Spring... brrrrr. The sky is white...with grey smudges churning around as darker rain clouds form. Had a job interview yesterday, polished myself up into a suit, parked in town, started walking as it started raining... got to the small bridge over the river beside Arnolfini just as they decided to lower the barriers, turning the bridge so a boat could get through. I got soaked. Normally I love the rain, but not when I'm wearing a suit.

I drove to Bath last night to catch up with Vega$, and, specifically to have an all-boys night of PS2... Star Wars Battlefront II. Ahhhh wow, what a fab night. Particular memories are of Matthias blasting me to peices with the front cannon of an AT-AT (several times in a row), and of me shooting Matthias (who was in Boba Fet mode) out of the sky....ah childish pleasures but what a treat.

Djr

Quintessential Rainy Day

¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

07:48, clean blue sky beyond the blister window; if I get up and take a look outside I can clearly see the far horizon, green fields defined by dark green hedgerows, clumps of forest on rolling hills... it's not all lost behind some bank of rain and fog.

Enigma is playing on random function. Today is Tuesday, and it's been a dreamy bank holiday weekend. Jo's twin sister arrived Friday night; Saturday afternoon their younger brother got married...this is my 3rd wedding, or 4th if you include NGT's evening reception. It was very good. I particularly enjoyed meeting this salty old sea-dog who had a thousand mile stare, florid cheeks, thick tangled white beard and a carefully guarded personality...he was fitting in, just like me, but then both of us happened across a mutual interest and that opened a floodgate of speculative discussion about all things bizarre, esoteric and the dark side of human psychology. I told him I would love to learn the sea and sailing. He promised me he'd contact me.

Sunday woke up in the small English country village where the wedding took place; a cooked breakfast, about 20 members of Jo's family packed into a small lounge with mugs of tea going through the wedding photos...I continued to get to know Jo's Uncle Andrew. I'd been told about Andrew for years but this was the first chance we've had to meet; he's a senior lecturer of archeology and spends a significant amount of time in the middle-east... he's also heavily into Roman Polanski films... 9th Gate is my all time favourite film, ever, and I've been given several titles I need to look up: Cul de Sac; Knife in the Water; Revulsion. By time lunchtime came round, and the family had flicked through over 300 digital photographs of the same thing (from different angles) it was time to head back to Bristol.

Heavy rain. The light was the colour of an aquarium...muddy green. I loved it. Getting home, Jo & her sister crashed out in the front room... I brewed a pot of strong coffee and padded upstairs, where the Sky Bunker was getting a pounding from the rain. Bliss. The next few hours was me alternating between working on Yellow Dawn, and going downstairs to chill out with the girls who'd made the front room into cosey-central.


Djr

 

Near May's End and close to finishing Yellow Dawn (2nd ed)

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦

00:16 on a Friday night, or technically a Saturday morning. Blackness kisses the blister window; soft lights glow in two corners of this sloping roofed chamber, and a lava lamp casts dark red glow across my desk and laptop.

Recently returned from a fab night out; Oivind was exhibiting some of his artwork along with other creatives at the Centrespace gallery. One of the pieces for sale was an image I would love to buy, and it would have been something I could have easily done a year or so ago, but I no longer have the funds.

Interesting timing. As I reach the end of my funds, I'm reaching the end of Yellow Dawn. Am incredibly exciting period actually; like preparing to give birth. And also the curiosity about where this can and might take me. I've sacrificed much and risked even more to complete Yellow Dawn; it's been the hardest, most intense project I've ever worked on... let's just hope it's all been worth it.

So tonight was an art exhib, followed by Sushi with many familiar faces and a few not so familiar...at Budokan. When I first arrived at the exib I was in alien mood, my social functions on a software crash having spent x hours locked into Yellow Dawn and then abruptly finding myself wandering around a brightly lit space clutching a camera and a bottle of beer... talking to strangers felt awkward after the initial bright smile and hello... but then the night morphed and I found my brain cells re-booting and met some genuinely nice people. Hagen was there... he's like another Matthias (circa 1995)... in the sense that I feel like I know him so well, trust him and enjoy his company, despite knowing him for so little time. On the same vein, I suppose that make Matthias and Hagen like another Tony, or Simon... people who I met and within moments just sort of slotted into "these are now friends" mode. It's nice when that happens.

09:44 nine hours later. I went downstairs and zombied out in front of the flatscreen; flicking through a couple of films and a 6 hour-long Rock-athon with lots of Emo bands, young studs with black hair, smeared eye-liner and sprawling heavily inked tattoos. Finally went to bed around 2:30. Jo's twin sister wasn't snoring too badly, plus the couple glasses of wine and I dropped into very pleasant slumber.

So now I'm onto my 2nd mug of tea; the sky outside is cobalt blue, threaded with long strands of sirrus cloud and the vapour trails of a jet. I drank my first mug sitting on a sun drenched step outside the kitchen door; our garden gets the sun from morning to evening. I've got 2 hours to myself before I have to start getting ready: a wedding to go to. Would normally not go to such things but I've been asked to capture the special day on video. I'm going to write messages back to a few people on Myspace I've been getting to know recently; but I've gone radio silent on them because I've been so wrapped up in Yellow Dawn...and the time I spent in Newcastle is a period without easy internet access.

Newcastle was excellent, as usual. In one way strange to have only gone for 3 days, when I normally stay for at least a week, sometimes 6, sometimes 12 :o) but the time went by slowly and I savoured every moment; I had the laptop placed on the wide oak table in breakfast area, part of the large open plan extension that includes the kitchen and a comfortable lounge area; large French doors to my left, sky lights above letting in a flood of light; dense woodland beyond the glass, the garden, and beyond that the Dene and all its verdant mystery. Sitting there allowed me at least to feel a presence with my mum. I'd take breaks and play cards with her. Or stroll up to Kitsch'n cafe on Acorn Road for coffee and time with paper notepad and pen. But most hours I was there, at the breakfast table I spent part of my childhood using as a den, writing up Yellow Dawn.

Djr

 

 

 

Freaky Friday - dig that Zombie vibe

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦

20:14 Friday evening, just had a surreal moment. Stepped outside a few minutes ago to take a break from Yellow Dawn and grab a take-away. As I walked away from the house, blinking and squinting in the light, I realised there was a huge hole in the elbow of my jumper and that my hair was sticking up in erratic tufts... and then I realised I'd not been outside the front door since Tuesday. I'd wandered outside lost in thought without really considering the need to make good appearances... at least I was wearing my trousers.

Progress with Yellow Dawn is light-speed. It's going very well and I can suddenly sense the end is in sight.

Jo's twin sister stayed with us last night, and will be staying with us a couple nights a week for the forseable future. It's great. Like having two for the price of one. I made dinner for them both last night and it was rather curious sitting on one side of the table, observing both of them eating side by side.

Anyways, time for a glass of wine then back to this post-apocalyptic world of zombies, Cthulhu and technology. Where did my reality go?

Djr

Infectious Viral Mutations

¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

07:59 on a Thursday morning. Pale blue sky beyond the blister window, struggling to show through rapidly moving bands of grey and white clouds. I've had to switch life-support on as the temperature continues to hover below comfortable. I'm wearing Starsky and thick woollen socks, supping tea laced with honey, and have just munched some 500gram superpill Jo bought in France. Yes, you guessed it, I have man-flu. It could be the long weekend in London - several late nights and getting soaked in the rain meeting Ben; or it could have been the Tuesday night in the smokey pub with Tony, Hagen, (Phil and Barry, ex-agency operatives; but I'm going to blame my car, and for that reason, I'm going to rename it from "The Biscuit Tin" to "Swampy".

My car floods when it rains. Just in one part, in the driver footwell, but the dirty water can often reach past the pedals. It was flooded when I left the car last week to go to London, and I'm figuring it's had a few days to fester, plus more rain over weekend kept it topped up. I can't complain because the car cost me less than my computer printer, but when I climbed in on Tuesday night, I was sure there were little tiny flying things buzzing around. And don't lets forget the monster spider that's taken up residence in the sunvisor flap. I discovered that hairy beauty a couple weeks ago whilst driving - I nearly went off the bloody road. So, I'm figuring my body immune system is fighting off a varient of some tropical infection that's cultivated itself in Swampy. All rather a dramatic excuse for something as lowly as man flu.

The weekend in London was good. Met up with a group of creatives that have an excellent idea; but nothing seems to have happened since the  meeting so I'm pondering the reality of the project being born. We shall see. I also hooked up with Alex, my childhood buddy from Jesus Mound, the final of the three muskateers along with Ciaran and myself. I last saw Alex at my Dad's funeral in December (Alex and Ciaran helped me carry my dad's coffin in), but before that I'd not seen Alex in 6 or 7 years. So this was really our first time to properly reconnect and it was lovely. I met his wife (Kat) and their incredible dog Rags, who has a Charisma score of 360 percent. I woke up on Alex's sofa the next morning with Rags lying on top of me; when I rolled over, Rags repositioned herself to  lie beside me like a human, head on pillow, like spoons.

I caught up with Ben, who've I've not seen since December 2005; he's been working on animation for the DaVinci Code, Posiedon, Sunshine and others. It was good to see him but by the end of the encounter I felt a little drained; there was sense that we're almost strangers with the only connection between us being the time we've known each other. A shame because he's a wonderful character within life's variety.

Then I spent a night and day with my sister and Nk; I wanted to see her this day because it was dad's birthday, or would have been. The evening was fabulous and chilled. Watched Jackass2, and Smoking Aces, both were great; I went to sleep in a loft conversion with Velux skylight right above my face... when the rain came it was a wonderful delight to lie there only inches from the impacts on the glass. Am currently re-reading Bruce Sterling's Heavy Weather.

So now I'm back in Bristol, making good progress with Yellow Dawn, spending time on Myspace, enjoying the fact my books are selling despite the lack of marketting (on hold til Summer or later) and really enjoying the feedback I've been getting from people who've been reading them.

Djr

Dangers of Facial Hair & Public Transport

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦

12:48 and I'm ignoring the mild starvation and excess of coffee. Just had a bath to refresh brain cells and had a flash back to an incident I want to document and record for prosperity.

Firstly, I don't usually grow a beard but there are weeks when writing takes over all aspects of my life apart from eating, sleeping and paying attention to my girlfriend... sometimes I just wake up and find a grizly monster has attached itself to my face.

Two, the traffic congestion in Bristol city centre often means it's easier to use public transport than a car.

Knowing this then, you can picture me standing at a bus stop in the centre of Bristol; 6ft-one, buzz-cut hair and minding my own business. Gazing ahead I notice a squat, surly bloke moving through the crowded pavement, making his way down the hill. He's got short dark hair,long arms, large hands and kind of... glazed look in his eyes. Plus his bottom lip is sticking out in a petulant sulky sort of way. My eyes lock onto him. His eyes swing left and lock onto me. I don't look away. Neither does he. In fact, he abruptly lunges forward, runs up to me and shoves a massive fist against my face, snarling something about his wife.

Hmm.

I don't move. And neither does any of my fellow passengers sharing the bus stop shelter. Everyone can see the "care-in-the-community" vibe about him. A wonderful consequence of the UK government closing down many of the facilities for people with mental health issues. One of them now has me pinned to the bus shelter with a fist, and crickey it really is a very large fist, and his shoulders are easily eclipsing my own shoulder-width.

Something about his wife. I'm not listening. I'm thinking kick him in the bollocks and pound him down. Then run.

But before I get to discover my fighting techniques haven't actually improved since giving two lads a bloody nose at school (age 7), the fist withdraws and the man lurches away with it; sullenly he marches on down the hill shouting at anyone who gets in his path.

Phew, I think, glance at my fellow bus shelter loungers - who don't look me in the eye (What is this my fault?) and then drift back to my thoughts.

I get on the bus and take a seat near the front. Two stops later, guess who gets on. Yup. The Morlock with the fists. Even before he can hand his money over to the driver he spots me and his face transforms into this animal mask of rage.

Uh-oh.

He charges past the driver towards me.

Oh can this really be happening?

A moment later has has me. By the beard. Yup, those large meaty fists and now clutching the coarse strands of over-grown stubble attached to my cheeks and chin. His face is right in mine, eyes squeezed together and glaring with some demented fury and now the words about his wife are more clear. "You f----ked my wife! You f----ked my wife!" followed by some growling gibberish sounds.

Do I hit him? No. Do I respond with anger? No. Strangely calm and composed I simple say (firmly)..."Get off my beard".

THe words did the trick. He steps away, like some uncertain monkey, eyeing me with a sidelong gaze... then he retreats, moving side to side as if now overcome by ape-like genomes. He shakes his fist at me, repeats the accusation about his wife, then barrells off the bus and flees.

Phew (again).

I glance round at my fellow passengers who are looking at me as if they completely believe his accusations. What?! Oh come on are you SERIOUS?!!!. Then a woman on the next row back proclaims, "Oh thank God he's gone, he did the same thing to me last week."

Yes madamn, but you don't have a beard.

Anways, thought I'd share that with you folks.

Peace

Djr

Psychic Shenanigans

¦ dialling in from sky bunker ¦

07:47. A morbid greyness clings to the bulkhead window. Total silence apart from the steady hum of life-support down to my right side; the temperature continues to drop as the days march away from the weekend. Yesterday the wind was so angry I could feel rivets straining to pop, and I imagined this whole bunker being sucked up into the void and hurled away.

The garden adventure was a great success. Jo and I ripped the jungle apart and exposed the contours of the garden below. Still a lot of work needs doing but hey... there's visible progress.

13:05 Just returned from a wee drive to Bath, through green and rolling English hills, to see Matthias. A cup of Joe and listening to an Alan Watts segment; I introduced him to some UNKLE he'd not yet discovered. Matthias told me he'd e-mailed some scientist in Holland who is investigating parapsychology, in particular the ability of people to precognate events; the scientist replied to Matthias and invited him to be a subject. So we're sitting there, Matthias and I, in his kitchen, and he's telling me he has to tell the scientist every time he has a moment were he predicts some event before it happens. On impulse I punched him in the jaw. Just a tap, but my knuckles connected with a solid thump. There was a moment of stunned silence, then both of us cracked in howls of laugher. (He never saw THAT coming). Although I did feel guilty. Ahem.

Djr

 

Rainy Sunday Morning

¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

09:20 on a Sunday morning. Grey skies out there and tranparent pebbles of rain water cling to the glass bulkhead. Just come upstairs from my morning ritual- though I've just remembered I've not done any Yoga for a few days now-  rolled out of bed naked at 9.05, leaving Jo asleep, pulled on a baggy blue T-shirt (OLD NAVY, the one I bought in New York in 1998) and padded barefoot and bare-legged downstairs. Tip-toeing around the kitchen because the tiles are cold; filled the kettle, brewed a mug of tea, upstairs to the Room-with-a-View, where I sat until now, gazing out across the edge of Bristol to the open countryside beyond. Dundry Hill was just visible through the haze of rain. Air is seeping into the room through the window, it smells fresh and wonderful. The tea is divine on my sleep-dried pallet. Instantly my brain kicks into work-mode. I resist the need to head up here and concentrate on relaxing for a few more minutes. A lovely bubble in time. Today Jo and I tackle the garden for the first time since we moved in. We have stores of napalm in the garage, and an army of worker-drones rigged with slashing blades....naaaaa, not really, we've got a hacksaw and a pair of shears between us. Oh happy days.

Djr

April's What's New Log

¦ dumped from main web page ¦ April 2007. I'm about 45% through Yellow Dawn 2nd Edition. It is a murderous peice of work but I finally feel like I'm getting through it. My novels are selling nicely, despite the fact I've done no marketting yet. What Myspace has done for music, and LoveFilm has done for DVD's, the publisher I'm using is doing the same for books, a global market and no need to worry about distribution. "God Seed" was last month's Best Seller. MOOD: creative satisfaction.

2nd May

¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

13:42, got Zero 7 playing on laptop, the sun is blasting in through the bulkhead blister window. I've only been in for half an hour. Woke up late this morning, around 8.30, struggled to get my head into gear; my own fault: stayed up ridiculously late last night to watch bloody HIGHLANDER. So I bombed down to Coffee#1 and sat in their garden for a couple hours, soaking up rays, supping a large strong coffee, reading through some of Steven Covey's  7 Habits, pondering some Yellow Dawn bits and peices, and feeling pretty chilled. Drifted down to see Hagen. Had a coffee with him at the Blue Lagoon. The bugger has gone and bought all three of my novels; I am mighty pleased. He's reading through Iron Man Project and the moment and he's giving big thumbs up. It's also the first time I've seen the proper cover of Dante's Fool. It looks good. He got me to sign them all.

So coming back via Sainsbury's and a pack of Sushi, I'm feeling human again. Though just had a rejection for a training-role I applied for, in the big company I really want to get into. Bugger.

Yellow Dawn is coming along. Onto page 136 now. I've got around 2 more months to wrap it up, leaving me a month to review and polish it before the launch date: 1st of August 2007, otherwise known as 999.

Had a phone call from Andy C today; really great to hear from him. Realised I've not seen him since November 2005! Anyways, looks like I'll probably catch up with him in a couple weeks when I do a big mission to London.

Djr


 

Killer Curry

¦ dialling in from sky bunker¦

A sunny Saturday morning.On my 1st mug of tea. "Falling" by Balligomingo is playing on laptop. A subtle heat is exuding through my guts. Jo and I met up with a close friend and his partner last night; a couple drinks, great conversation with lots of smiles, a lovely night; then down to a local curry house. Proper 2nd generation Indian;  none of this modern Westernised decor, but low lighting, carpets on the walls, intense aroma of spices and pleasant music. My friend ordered something consisting of chillies, garlic and onion on rice. We both grinned at each other with glee at such wonderful food; turns out the thing was killer hot.

He ate his way through it but seemed to be suffering. I even commented he looked a little pale. Near the end he sat back, breathing sharply through his mouth stating he was getting a chilli rush. I believed him. My attention went Jo and the partner, the latter suddenly looked sharply to her left and began to lunge. My attention tracked back to my freind who was now  toppling sideways out of the booth, about to fall from the chair onto the floor, only held in place by his partner's reactions. I was confused. Was he joking? His eyes were wide open, but his face was fixed in a vacant mask. His partner hauled him towards her, by his arm; his head swung round like a rag doll and cracked the wooden partition behind us. No reaction. Jesus the guy wasn't joking. In fact, as he slumped across his partner and she reached to find his pulse, he looked utterly dead. And that freaked me out. I had a troubled sleep last night. I kept seeing my freind's dead face, staring out, pupils so dilated his whites were almost hidden, a strange wet glistening forming around their rims catching the candlelight.... I instantly thought of my father and how mum and Squirt described the moment he died. I was up out of my chair, beside him, holding onto him, trying to get him onto the floor to get his head on the same level as his heart. Then he started shuddering, gently convulsing... I felt powerless to help.

Abruptly, within 20 seconds, he returned to consciousness. His eyes blinked, he sat up confused, and said he'd been having a lovely dream. He spent the next 15 minutes sitting with his forehead resting on his forearms on the table, he felt weak and nauseous. The waiters seemed to not find this a surprise, in fact, one actually said it was a result of the chillis. Really? Bloody hell.

Anyways, Jo grabbed the car, pulled up outside and we got him home. Safe and sound. I love the guy and I'm just pleased this was a blip of some kind. Seeing his dead face, well, that is an image I never want to see for real.

Djr

Back in Bristol

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦

Back in Bristol and dealing with that temporary emotional-low that comes with shifting back into reality. Jesus-mound is too nice for words. Plus it takes getting used to being alone in the house in Bristol, after a number of days of having company on-hand (mum, Rosie, Pete, Kitschin cafe up the road). Spoke to mum on the phone this morning and she's going through the same thing, getting used to being alone again. :o(

 I jumped into my biscuit tin and drove over to Bath to see Vega$ - fresh coffee and good conversation, plus a lovely drive through the countryside which always lifts my soul.

But... the sun is starting to show its golden face...I've got food and I've got tea...

Djr

Lucky Break

¦ dialling in from Jesus Mound ¦

I've taken my final walk up to Kitsch'n cafe, past the majestic spire of St George's, flufft white clouds skimming the blue sky. The sun is shining but there's a cool breeze. The air is rich with the scent of flowers in bloom, and blossom is everywhere, swirling in the breeze like snow flakes. Acorn road was quiet. The cafe was quiet. Coffee, bacon & croissant, then back home.

I've been paid for some freelance web design, and had a loan I made to somebody (in 2004) repaid in full. This has reinflated my funds somewhat. Very welcome.

So I'm back to Bristol tonight. Time to savour my final hours here. Working on Yellow Dawn on laptop in vast space of lounge, sunlight streaming through skylights and french doors; maybe a visit next door to use their steam-engine computer with broadband (I'm a broadband beggar); some Fury of D?; some Olsen-one-card with mum? Then back bags & leave house by 6pm, arrive airport before 7pm for an 8pm flight. Jo meets me at airport. Pick up my car and head home via The Swan.

Djr

Everlasting bubble world - Monday 23rd April

¦ dialling in from Jesus Mound ¦


08:40  Onto my 2nd mug of tea, grey light flooding in through skylights and wide french doors. The calm serenity of the morning has been broken by mum's arrival from upstairs. A simmering tension radiating from her. Not helped by Annelise's cats (Sid & Bob) mewling and whining like demented Harpies as soon as she enters the living room. In fact, mum has been bristling with tension all week. It's been hard to relax around her. But the old bedroom has been taken by Freddy (a lodger). So I've chosen to sit at the kitchen table day in-day out working on the laptop. Currently on page 118 of Yellow Dawn 2nd ed. Talk Talk - Natural History album has come on through random selection, though changing even as I type these words to.... wait for it.... Dead Can Dance, Desert Song.
 Today is Monday. I've been here since last Wednesday night and it feels like forever. Despite the prickly atmosphere I'm enjoying myself, though I think it will be a long time before I next return. Saw Richy yesterday, he popped over with some artwork he's completed. It's a new thing for him, painting, and he's hoping to sell his images through Ebay and the like. They're good, so I think hes should do okay. He and I went for a walk down into the Dene and had a couple hours of reminiscing about old times. He and his wife Louise are deep into preperations for a round-the-world trip (taking place 2008 or 2009). It's great to see him so sorted and adept at life. He's a lovely bloke.
 Jo flew to Rome on Saturday. Have had a couple calls and some text messages. I'm not missing her but I'm deeply aware of how much I love and adore her. I was right not to go; she says it's not a scratch on Paris and there are things about the place she knows I wouldn't enjoy.
 08:57 Time to get on with my day. I'll be heading up to Kitschin at some point to help Mike, either with writing copy for his Kidsafe product or tweaking images in photoshop. That'll blend into a couple hours of working with pen and paper in my notepad, planning next part of Yellow Dawn, some cups of illegally strong coffee and maybe a croissant with bacon.


19:45 sitting at the same broad oak table, daylight fading into a murky evening of intermitent April showers. It's been a good day. Now onto page 122 of Yellow Dawn, exceeding my target of 1 page per day. Had a frank discussion with mum about her tension. The wonders of open communication. Don't hide what you think and feel; express yourself with clarity and honesty, through polite words and solid principles and the world responds equally. She apologised for being so terse. I told her she had no need to apologise, and we explored the reasons behind her tension. Sidenote, it seems the Abby building society have been bought-out by a Spanish bank; quality of customer service has gone right down the toilet; I couldn't believe the attitude of the service-staff in Newcastle and the way they handled mum's queries...it boiled down to them saying "I can't cancel a standing order, you (mum) need to ring Spain and do it over the phone".
 WTF?!!!
 News today said that the number of animals being abandoned by owners in England rose 50% in 2006. Another symptom of the collapse of civil society in this country. People buying animals as fashion accessories and then realising they actually need to be responsible and take care of the creatures... an affront to the lazy self-centred buy now on credit and go bankrupt rather than pay it back wankers who seem to be multiplying like lemmings in this country.
 

Djr

Friday up North

¦ dialling in from Jesus Mound ¦

07:58, sitting at the broak oak-table in a large open room, white walls and comfortable looking antiques dominate the peripheral vision. To my left are large double-french doors, of dark wood, leading out onto a wide expanse of decking, then a long garden filled with trees, before merging with Jesmond Dene beyond. The light is grey with a mischevious patina of sunlight, gentle rain spatters the skylights above me. "The Sun Rising" by Beloved is playing on the laptop.

I woke up at 7:30 with new ideas for my CV. I jumped out of the sofa bed (sleeping in dad's old room downstairs) and scribbled them down. One mug of tea. Putting stuff away in mum's garage I found my old cricket ball. It brought back vivid memories of being 9 and 10; in particular of my childhood friend Alex getting a marmaduking from his dad for bowling incorrectly. I've dropped the ball into my backpack, I'll take it back to Bristol and put it on my desk in the Sky Bunker; not because I'm into cricket, but because it is a tangible link to my childhood, and, I suppose, there is something of my father there too.

08:06 knocking back the cold dregs of my 1st mug of tea. Looking a little bleary eyed but feel alert and looking forward to the day. Today is Friday, I'm here in Newcastle until next Thursday night. An unexpected treat; my funds are gone so I didn't think I'd be able to afford another trip up here but Jo drove up Wednesday for work so I grabbed a ride, and I have a 5 quid return flight next week. Bargain.

This time last week I was on my way to Paris with Jo. Blowing the last of my funds on celebrating 5 years with my woman, partner in crime and best friend. What an amazing trip. Too much to jot down on a blog so the memories will appear alongside photographs in my website's secret window. Highlights though were sitting on the Eiffel tower after sunset, just gazing out across the city; standing by the King Louis XIV's mansion at Versailles gazing out in stunned awe at the gardens; wandering around Montmartre; sitting outside a cafe on the street, beams of afternoon sunlight lancing through the glass of Leffee beer on the table, spiralbound notebook on my lap, strong coffee in a tiny cup; an incredible meal with Jo on the Champs Elysées. Mainly though, I continue to fall in love with France, something that only really began last August with my trip to Montpellier, Arles and Aigues Morte.

Over & Out

Djr

Easter & Freinds

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦

17:39 on a glorious sunny Sunday afternoon. The sun has been blazing for days now. The Easter weekend began for Jo & I on Wednesday with the arrival of an old freind: Kelvin, aka El Sharky. He used to work for Jo in the Voda-days, and I met him in mid 1998, through a corporate contract with the Agency, after which he became a devout participant of Game, along with Russell, zaniah, Tony and Dominic.

Kelvin moved to Spain over a year ago - taught himself the language, went through the ending of a major relationship and then completed his Masters in Business, in Spanish. Not bad for the son of a gardener from Gloucester...albiet Prince Charles gardener ;o)

Jo and I last saw Kelvin at Christmas, when he joined the family gathering in Newcastle. Wednesday night saw us devour spicy chicken fajitas and too much red wine.

Thursday was an amazingly lazy morning (I left them in bed and did some work on Yellow Dawn), Kelvin made one his famous poached-egg and chopped tomato breakfasts, with copious amounts of strong strong coffee brewed in the Italian coffee maker he bought me a while ago - this was my first time using it and wow, what a difference in taste and caffeine rush. We drove out past Chippenham to Lacock Abbey, too late in the day to go inside so we wandered around the beautiful rustic village and then had coffee and nibbles at a tavern made within old stables. We headed back to Bristol and met up with Tony, Simon & Vicky at our secret hideway down by the edge of the river  (Hanham Mills). A really lovely sociable night with a few beers, fading sunshine, colourful sunset, cheap and tasty pub food and great freinds.

Friday was another lazy start (I went upstairs and did more with Yellow Dawn). In fact, the whole day became a lazy-fest... Jo & Kelvin sitting in the suntrap of the backgarden all day after another lovely poached-egg / tomato breakfast. Evening came and we relocated to Simon's palace for a small session of Yellow Dawn, with Hagen, and Kevin. Sadly Tony had been dragged off to his in-laws in South West Wales for the entire weekend. It was a good session, Kelvin got to experience his first Dead City, although I think things were frustrating because he was playing an 80 year old Native American Indian Shaman. Hmmm.

The night left me brain-drained and overdosed on all things Yellow Dawn. In fact, I woke up during the night in a cold sweat, cursing the day I ever came up with the idea for the thing, and swearing I was going to pack all my notes away, delete the webpage and forget the whole damned project.

Saturday woke up, dropped Kelvin off at Temple Meads, dropped Jo off in town, then headed up to my new favourite cafe.... Coffee #1 on Gloucester Road, an awesome place, not only does it make great coffee with friendly staff who act like humans, but the clientelle are an ecclectic mix of interesting faces that usually smile back and engage in random conversations...a lot like the Boston Tea Party but without the hassle of getting into town. I park up outside Simon's palace and walk down. Easy. I spent 2 hours there, sitting in soft sunshine, reading Stephen Covey's 7 Habits and wondering where my brain had gone. Caught up with Hagen and drove to the cinema to see Danny Boyles new film, "Sunshine". I loved it. A few flaws like.... wouldn't all the dust have some footprints inside... where did the dude spent all those years living and how did he know he'd spent 7 years talking to the big G? Aside from that I was very impressed and emotionally moved by a point where a guy is enveloped in pure white light and I found myself thinking about my dad, and his last moments before dying, and the whole context of my existence within this reality, and my mortality, and was dad with me now... so my shouldes started shuddering and I struggle to contain some really big sobs.

Came outside and both Hagen and I needed a big drink to calm slightly jangled nerves; it's a visceral film.

Dropped Hagen back at his home, then met up with Jo at Cosey Castle before a 40 minute car ride through exquisite English countryside to Tetbury, rolling green hills shrouded in evening mist out of which stood proud trees, lanced by the furious light of a setting sun. Jules aka Ms Scarlet has just bought a house in Tetbury so this was a little celebration party. Simon & Vicky were there, as were people who we didn't know, Michelle, Jo & Andrew. It was a great night, bit too much champagne, with an interesting flux between Jules' old world (Simon, Vicky, and I), and her more recent world, with new and old stories being told. Simon told me he was a reading an excellent book, that I would like it and should check it out, when I asked what it was he replied, "God Seed." I smiled radiantly.

Sunday morning I took Jo to Coffee#1, sitting outside in their sun garden, I took her through the first couple of exercises in 7 Habits...all about identifying the values deep inside of you and the things that really mean most to you. It was interesting but nowhere near as a profound experience for her as it was for me when I completed them in January.

Jo & I headed home, she spent all afternoon outside in the garden... I alternated between sharing time with her and being upstairs; resumed work on James C's website. That night Sonja & Nic came over for dinner. I'd made a monstrous mountain of roast vegetables, brushed with butter, and a big salad with dressing and cherry tomatoes; garlic bread and a bowl of creamy coleslaw. Delish. After 11 years in my blissful but tiny Happy Flat, I acknowledged how wonderful it was being able to entertain like this.

Monday is going to be a day spent in the house; Jo wants to start work on the garden. I'll probably alternate being helping out, working upstairs and watching the rest of DUNE which I started to get into Sunday afternoon.

All in all, an utterly awesome weekend (that began Wednesday night).

Signing out

Djr

 

March What's New Log

¦ dumped from main web page ¦

March 2007

I'm about 25% through Yellow Dawn 2nd Edition. It is a murderous peice of work and feels like it is draining the life from me. Wouldn't give up for the world though. *grim smile* Thankfully it's the only creative project I'm working on. The books and Cloudy Head are finished, published and starting to sell. Not enough to make a living though, and the emergency reserve light on my funds has been blinking at me like a demented firefly so I'm dragging myself out of my cave to look for employement; either copywriting or using my corporate experience in project management, CRM and 2nd Line support. MOOD: financial realism.

Monday Morning

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦

08:26, the sun is painting the world outside in golden colours, but its still chilly up here in the Sky Bunker. Which I quite like. Divine snuggle with Jo this morning. She left for work and I indulged in a small lie-in. Rolled out of bed onto the floor, pulled on Starsky, did my morning Yoga routine, then downstairs, munching a couple handfuls of Oatabix whilst I waited for the kettle to boil. 1st cup of tea of the day...upstairs to Jo's room, sitting on the small wooden chair, waking up properly whilst gazing out across Bristol- the huge rise of Dundry hills lost in the early mist. 120 seconds of serenity. My eyes pulled-focus back to the tree right outside the window, a pair of blackbirds sitting side by side, looking like they were doing the same, just gazing out at the beauty of the world...turning heads during brief snippets of conversation. I saw the same two blackbirds yesterday morning stripping bits from the branches with their beaks. Spring cometh. I carried my mug of tea upstairs, grabbed my tarot cards for the 2nd time this year, sat down and did a 3-card spread. This deck is 21 years old now. 21 years ago I was going these mini-readings every day... and I'm pleased to get the same spiritual centering by doing them today.

A pleasant reading: Temperance ¦ 8 of Wands ¦ The World  

Lots of positive energy and forward movement.

This weekend has flown by. Friday night was supposed to be my first backgammon session with Dan, instead he invited me out to join him, Rachel and numerous other new faces for dinner at Budokan. What a lovely bunch of people. Two couples in particular, eeek, memory loss, can't recall names, but one guy (ah! Jo) and his wife Coral?Carol?Carola? who had both moved to Frome 2 years ago... I thought his laptop was a whoopee cushion and luckily didn't attempt to try it out...he runs Random Function at w/shed, something I've been meaning to go to for months; another couple, soon to be getting married, recently moved to Wales, he just got back from Alaska lucky bugger. The kind of random strangers I like to meet, and to see again and get to know. Intelligent, friendly, open, interesting and interested listeners. Dan and Rachel were lovely company as usual..strange how we all met so many years ago through disparate streams. Bristol... a world inside an oyster.

Finally got hold of my sister who is back in Newcastle for a few days. I woke up Saturday morning with a deep sense of missing her (in my life), and looking forward to a good conversation. She's clearing out the last of her things from our old bedroom, before Freddy moves in as mums lodger. She's doing okay. Will be there until Thursday, then heads up to Glasgow to catch up with people from her years there. She made me very happy when she said she wanted to make arrangements to come and visit me in Bristol; I've been going to Stephen Covey's 7 Habits, and one of my long term goals in my role as "brother" was to improve the relationship with my sister to the point where she comes to Bristol to vist me on her own volition. After the grim years since 2001, I feel like she and I are back to being close again.

I had a short period of really missing Newcastle...Jesus Mound, Kitschen Cafe on Acorn road, walks through the Dene, strolling round to see Pete next door. I would love to have a lifestyle/income stream that allowed me to spend time both there and here in Bristol.

08:47, brrr, my hands are getting cold as they drift over this keyboard, nails turning blue, I'm going to have to grab another layer to put on. Jo and I popped over to see Vega$ and Tanya, which was lovely. The sun was shinning, we drank coffee, stood outside, saw the progress with his Lab. Jo and I headed off and found ourselves at Bowood House. Coffee and soup at their visitors cafe. Then back home. Cosey cosey cosey.

Sunday, Jo and I saw Sonja. She and Nic have pulled up all the patio paving stones to lay down decking: she got all the wood for £20, what a bargain. Was great to spend a couple hours outside in the sun and cool wind, shifting wood and drinking coffee.

So a new week begins. Sharky arrives here Wednesday night, he'll be staying with us until Saturday. I'm looking forward to it. It'll mean shifting into a different mental gear.

Good progress with Yellow Dawn 2nd edition. Last week was all about entities of the Mythos; the week before that was combat. This weekend I completed the revised rules for entering Dead Cities and the risk of Zombie attacks. This week will be writing up The World of Yellow Dawn, I'm looking forward to it as I'll be able to use more narrative flow rather than getting bogged down in the mathematics of rules.

08:54 jeepers this was only supposed to be a few lines.

Over & out.

Djr

Contact from the North

¦ dialling in from Sky Bunker ¦

Tuesday 27th - PM: I've been in here all day. Bright, sensual yellow sunshine outside, filtering through a thick creamy mist that is hanging over the city and obscuring the broad ridge of high hills in the distance. Had a lovely phone call from Mike, and then St John, both from Newcastle; they've just returned from Hanover, a technology-fair there, showcasing the invention they've been working on for over a year now. Kidsafe. A physical keylock for your computer. They had unprecedented praise and interest from all the resellers there. I'm really pleased for both of them, because I know the risks and sacrifices they've made to bring the prototype to market...I've sat through a lot of it in Kitschen cafe, during the 6 months of 2006 I spent in Newcastle.

It's just gone 6pm, the sunlight is fading, temperature is dropping. Jo will be home soon. I'll cook dinner, freshen up then return to the Sky Bunker for more uninterrupted creativity.

Djr

Talk Talk

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦

21:00 hrs, Sunday night, just been lying in a hot bath, lights off, small candle burning casting soft shadows, mug of tea. Upstairs random function on laptop is selecting music. Talk Talk comes on and I'm transported back to 1981, I'm 11 years old, just got into D&D, sitting on the floor of my bedroom in Jesus Mound, got a tin of barley sugar sweets and I'm only a few days from my first solo trip to Norway for Christmas. Really vivid memories, emotions, feelings... and interesting because I've just got home, 36 years old, from a whole day of playing D&D with Tony, Simon, Laura & Tom (Hagen missed it through illness).... roleplaying games have had an influence for 25 years of my life.... wow, how different an individual would I be if my dad had said no that cold wet autumn day in '81, when I went down to the bottom of the garden to ask him if I could have £15 to buy a new game. *smiles at the memory*


Djr

Music for Moods

¦ dialling in from Sky Bunker ¦

For some reason I woke up yesterday morning fighting off fear and depression. Maybe it was the numb lead colour of the sky, or a worry about finding work. Anyways, I dealt with it, with help from Steven Covey and the 7 Habits of Effective people, an amazing book. I subordinated my fears and moods to honour my goals, goals I've worked hard to identify, goals I understand are absolutely what I want in the various roles I fill. The day became very productive...pitched my CV to a number of creative companies, and made several applications for corporate roles.

Music for moods. Back in January I went into Fop to buy the new album by the Klaxons and walked out with 100 quids worth of other music. Too much to listen to in one go and appreciate so I've been rationing my listening, allowing 2 or 3 albums to embed the memories and moods of their first listening in my mind.

Mid January to Feb was New Order Substance 1987, Sugar Cubes, Klaxons, Data Rock and Gossip, with memories of day after day in the Sky Bunker, cold grey mist beyond the windows, working on finalising the novels for publication.

Now I've got Jethro Tull StormWarning, and Amusement Parks on Fire.

It's saturday and I'm forgetting about hunting for work and going to spend a whole day here in the Sky Bunker working on Yellow Dawn. Exciting developments with the combat system. Now working on Mythos monsters and integrating them into it.

Djr

Wonderful Day

¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

Fab day yesterday. Woke up feeling slightly blue about being away from Jesus Mound bubble - pure withdrawl symptoms and I knew they were based on childish subconcious centres. The day was glorious. Bright and rejuvinating sunshine. I jumped into my biscuit tin before Jo had even left for work and headed down into town. Lit a candle for dad in the Cathedral. Grabbed a delish coffee and Danish in Boston Tea Party (sat in the back garden, in full sunshine... something I've never been able to do for years because I was a slave to my laptop)... pulled out a paper notebook, pen, and scribbed ideas for a couple hours.

Rang Game-Breaker-Hagen and had a long and very satisfying conversation with him...he's working his ass off whilst putting his own death on hold (guy is mega ill with some kind of vile cough).

Rang Vega$, arranged to swing over to Bath and see him. I spend 20 minutes sitting on the crest of Kelston Park, between cities of Bath and Bristol, in my biscuit tin, surrounded by amazing green rolling hills... peaceful and pleasant.... worked on some more notes there and raided a box of Oatabix cereal to keep hunger away.

Vega$ was feverishly putting the finishing touches to a collection of images he's put together for exhib. He supplied me with mugs of his divine coffee and I sat on a stone step outside in the sunshine, with notepad and pen.  Later drove Vega$ and artwork back to Bristol for his opening night in the venue, via the Cosey Castle, so he could see the place.

Dropped Vega$ off in town. Headed back to Cosey Castle. Ploughed through my "find a Job" objectives for several hours. Jo came home. So lovely to see her. I wrote up changes to the rules for Fury of Dracula (ancient boardgame) whilst she got ready to head back out. I wanted to support Vega$ who was on his own at the exhib.

Blasts from the past galore. Turns out the venue for the exhib is a really great little bar owned by a face I've known around Bristol for more than a decade (Tim). Then I bump into Jake (Dj) who's also got creative work up on display - some incredibly polished and commercially glossy eye-candy. Jake is there with a guy called Robert, who may be able to get me contacts inside some big SW Production companies. Then I see Lucas (part of the Jenkins Corporation from 1995-1996), and learn he's still in touch with Helen; she's living in Hong Kong working for a lingerie company. I asked him to pass on a warm hello and a request for her Lasagne (to die-for). I rang Dan (B), and it was lovely to see him meet Vega$. Dan arrived with Rachel (Blue Rocket) who's another face I've known around Bristol for a decade or so...and she's delighted I've published my books. And there were other faces. Other fleeting conversations with new or old faces. Meanwhile, Jo carves her own niche in the social fabric and just gets on with people as she always does, and I watch her and feel love radiating from my being.
A really great day.

Djr

 

Monday in the North - 19th March

¦ dialling in from Jesus Mound ¦

9.54 am, Monday...apparently, not that the days of the week mean anything to me up here in this bubble world. There is a narcotic effect being here and I'm actually grateful I'm only here for another couple days, for the only reason there's things I need to get on with in "Reality".

I've been making good progress with YD2nd Edition, but no more DaVinci method and busting a gut at the expense of everything else. The signature theme of this visit to Jesmond is the revamp of my old bedroom (and Annelise's)...the God-awful Ghostbusters wallpaper is gone. I say God-awful not because it was Ghostbusters (a film I adore) but because it was such shiiiiiit Ghostbusters wallpaper...the characters didn't even look like the ones in the film. The dark carpet is now a summery beige / oatmeal. The walls are a calm magnolia... and suddenly the place is reminding me of the room as I left it in 1989 (white walls, Gary Numan Warriors, Philipps videowriter on a desk, No place like Attica.... cans of Coke, walking round to Nial P's to discuss ideas for Dark Coyote....that was a great year).

My childhood friend Ciaran came over yesterday afternoon. Had a long luxurious chillout here with him. Very enjoyable. He's confirmed that Starship Sofa have done a review of my books on their podcast. Eeek! I'm interested in my own reaction to this news: happy there's been a review but unhurried to go and listen to it. Fear? Moi? Well-well-well.

Ahhh sunshine streaming through all these windows. Temperature outside hovering around 1c, after weeks of a balmy warm winter, parts of fencing hanging from torn anchors and a wooden bench lying flipped over onto its back from the strength of the recent winds. Global Warming is knocking on our doors...

Over & Out
Djr

North - Thurs 15th March

¦ dialling in from Jesus Mound ¦

Ahhhhhh *contended smile* Here I am again. Jesmond. My bubble world and sanctuary. Felt a bit uneasy about coming up because now the need to find work is becoming a desperate issue, but I can at least keep the ball rolling via the Internet and hope I can line up interviews for when I get back.

Mum's getting a lodger in, which is nothing new, except this guy is 7ft tall and won't fit in the room she normally rents out. So my old bedroom (and my sister's) has been emptied of furniture, wallpaper stripped, redecorated and will soon be occupied. I'm quite happy about it. Gives mum an income stream, plus, I was able to spend a lot of time there during my visit last month (a marathon Yellow Dawn 2nd Edition writing session).

I played an evil practicle joke on Les, mum's next door neighbour. Walking back from a morning coffee in Kitschen, I saw Les getting into his car. As he reversed (at speed) from his drive, I stepped forward and banged the back of his car as hard as I could then threw myself down on the ground. He braked sharply, jumped out the car and came running round with the most distraught look on his face... actually that bit wasn't funny... but then he saw me smiling and he took the joke on the chin. I think he was just over-joyed this wasn't reality. He helped me up and slapped my shoulder with a buddy-buddy "you bugger" commment.

Anyways, that's me.

Dialling out.

Djr

The Party is Over - step outside and smile into the light

¦ dialling in from the sky bunker ¦

8.26am, starting late today. Feeling tired. The euphoria and buzz from publishing my books has faded. I'm deep in a trench called Yellow Dawn and I'm not even half way through. *grim smile* After being lucky enough to have been able to spend over a year focussing entirely on my own projects, I can feel a new phase forming. After the Agency there was...

July-05 to Dec-05, me working on Edge, and starting the process of getting my photography onto a commercial footing

Dec-05 to April 06, head-hunded by global corporate, "come work for us on this project, here's lots of money" during this period my dad falls seriously ill and is hospitalised, Jo finds a house and starts the process of securing it; Edge has gone on hold, I create Yellow Dawn 1st edition.

April-06 to July-06 I'm living in Newcastle. An amazing period of time. Total focus on family and self. Visits to dad in Hospital, helping mum out around the house. Mum and I are finding each other again after a lifetime of being apart. I build strong friendship with Pete.

July-06 to Nov-06 Return to Bristol, abruptly move out of Happy Flat (after 11 years) and relocate to a part of the city I don't know. 300 miles from Dad, 300 miles from mum who is now alone. My darkest days. I've never been so low. I'm not sure about the house, not sure about Bristol. Hagen steps into my life as a rock of emotional support; and it's ironic when I consider how we met, back in Jan 2005, the black clouds in both our lives. I struggle on. I return to Newcastle every month for a few days. I look for work but my heart's not in it... I map out the plot for Dog Eat Dog whilst I'm in the South of France... I've got several creative projects I want to focus on...I'm confused and resentful.

Nov-06 to Feb 07. Dad dies. At the funeral I reconnect with my cousin Kenn-Ole; he says he wants to illustrate one of my short stories. I spent two months in Newcastle. There is an emotional release. A burden is lifted. Mum finds her feet, now with so much more time and nobody to care and worry for 24/7. Jo supports my decisions. Kenn-Ole's illustrations start arriving. Kick start to a new phase of creativity-with-confidence. I return to Bristol, lock myself away blissfully in the sky bunker. I go see my sister in London, our relationship is back again. I put together God Seed, Dante's Fool and Iron Man Project, and get them published. I start building the 2nd edition of Yellow Dawn.

March-07....

It's time to unlock the doors of the Sky Bunker and step into the daylight of normal reality. I've achieved a lot in these last two years. Potent life events. Creative projects. But the party (all my time for me) is over.

What do I want?

Within the next 4 weeks I want to return to full-time work within the company I've targetted, or, get some freelance work in copywriting; shift my creativity back into my spare-hours, build up my funds again and get to use my brain in different ways.

Within next 4 months, complete Yellow Dawn 2nd Edition.

Within next 12-16 months,put together a press-release for the novels and YD, and start marketting my work. Complete either Edge or Dog Eat Dog.


 

February What's New Log

¦ dumped from home page ¦

February 2007. Problems with Donations page now fixed.

Incredible few weeks. Two months in Newcastle after my father died. Since coming back to Bristol I've been on creative overdrive and now, abruptly, many of my babies are bursting into reality. Had a surreal experience last Friday after a courier delivered a package. Inside was God Seed and Dante's Fool. Finally, after over 10 years of sweat, effort and sacrifice, I was sitting in a room staring at my work in flesh and printing ink. Progressing well with Yellow Dawn 2nd Edition: secured a professional illustrator for the internal artwork. MOOD: creative bliss.

Return On Investment

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦

It's Monday and Jo's just left for work. I'll be doing that soon. Which is frustrating because I'm 25% into Yellow Dawn 2nd edition and what I want is to be able get on and finish it; however, I've spent the past 11 months on a creative bliss-trip, living on my savings...and they're nearly gone...and completing several major pieces. So I'm pulling a sour face (childish) because I'm being forced to head out from my cave and go find a job.

Had an interesting conversation with Jo last night about money. We had totally different attitudes to what money is for. In my world, if I get a lump sum, that means the ability to step out of the 9-5 distraction, and be free to spend serious lengths of time completing creative projects. In other words, the money gets burned up providing living expenses whilst I write / create.

Such a lump sum is not on the horizon right now so the conversation was hypothetical.

Which leads me to my internal acknowledgement of return on investment. I had a conversation with a friend last week about the amount of my life I've dedicated to my writing. Not just time, but sweat and tears. I worked out that to break even on my investment so far, my creative products need to net me 1.2 Million GBP. The sooner this starts coming in the happier I'll be. *smiles*

Anyways, thanks for reading, and...ahem, don't ignore the donations box by the door. *cheeky grin*

http://www.davidjrodger.com/donation.htm

Peace

Djr

 

Blood on the Moon

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦

Saw a total lunar eclipse last night. Have not seen one since an evening in 1990, standing outside Adam A's place on Grosvenor Avenue, looking down across the Dene to the moon turning ruby red. I was 19 or 20 then, only fresh into my drive to become a writer.

Last night I'm standing outside a house in Bristol (first Cosey Castle, then a car journey with Simon P to stand in the park outside his place with V)... I'm 36... and have reached many major milestones in my journey as a writer.

I enjoyed the juxtaposition of time and memory.

Djr

Happy Sore Head

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦


Weather forcast predicted severe storm weather today - and they weren't joking. I'm in a small space with sloping ceilings and a view of the world...or I would have if it wasn't for the dense grey rain swirling, thrusting and lashing the house. I also have a hangover. Delightfully aquired however. I wasn't going to go out last night. Was snug and deep within a creative vein...but I told myself a change is as good as a rest so headed into town and met up with the Wisual Vikings. A pub quiz. A good laugh. The mood was great. The bar closed. H&O and I headed to a late night bar and discussed our seperate and shared creative projects. Felt a buzz. A mutual sense of great possibility. Took pictures and thought "will we look at these in years to come and remember this is when it all started to really happen?" 3am and time to go home. 5 hours sleep, and now I'm trying to focus on the screen of my laptop and ignore the fact it seems waaaay too bright, and that everything else in my sight beyond the screen seems to be juddering, flickering and slowly swirling.

I made great progress with YD2nd Edtion yesterday. H created a countdown clock for the launch date. O and I agreed to meet up next week and hammer out a new deal on the illustrations.


Djr

Era - past and present

¦ dialling in from Sky Bunker ¦

Sunday night. Ran a hot bath, poured an ice cold glass of dark ale. Selected a few tracks on the laptop plugged into the stereo and let the music drift downstairs from bunker to bathroom. Candlelight. Hot water. Cold ale. Bliss. Dead Can Dance comes on. I'm transported back to Bristol Cathedral... this tune reminds me of walking through it when I was 23 /24... and now I'm transposing those memories on more recent ones of me lighting candles for my dad in the same cathedral. Another Dead Can Dance track comes on, this from the album "Within the Realm of a Dying Sun" and I'm transported back to the Jesmond Village. Late 1990, Manor House road, Richy and Grassy and Call of Cthulhu... the memories are so vivid, the emotions so intense I have to sit upright in the bath and gasp for breaths of air... the track continues to play... I'm moving forward, into Bristol... Hotwells... then the Happy Flat, Tony Jordan and Dom and Game... I ride the emotions, not so much a sense of loss, but a re-experience of many the good times past.


My sister left Newcastle to return to London. My mum's alone again. Wish I could shrug free of the sadness that brings into my heart.

Today I start the process of looking for employment again. I've been self-reliant and 100% dedicated to creative pursuits since last Spring...my funds are running low, the reserve tank indicator is flashing... and it's been mission successful. I've published 3 novels and several small projects; Yellow Dawn has gone through a successful proof of concept; and throughout all of this I've been able to spend nearly 6 months in Newcastle with my family during dad's illness and after his death.

Main priorities this week: update CV, start writing applications, maintain daily-output for Yellow Dawn 2nd Edition.

Down to business

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦

I had a good phone call with my childhood friend Ciaran couple days ago. He's part of Starship Sofa, a fab podcast that comes out on a regular basis. They're doing well. It makes me smile fondly because Ciaran is such a talented talker, and a great writer and spontaneous thinker. He always was, even as far back as school days. So now he's found a platform to display his talents and I'm really pleased. The world deserves to listen to his ideas. As for myself, I'm dug deep, burrowing on through the 2nd edition...my God this is going to take me MONTHS. Nothing I can do but slog on. It looks like Shadows of the Quantinex is going to be even further delayed (groans). One thing I want to achieve within the 2nd Edition is reinforce the Cthulhu Mythos element. I think it got somewhat lost in the 1st edition, which is a shame. Actually a lot about the 1st edition makes me cringe, but, it was a proof of concept and the concept has been proved, so I'm not about to start complaining. Somebody I'd like to thank in keeping my eyes open on this is Simon who is running a wiki page on the King in Yellow. Anybody who is into things Mythos related should certainly take a look at what he's created: a true aficionado.
http://kinginyellow.wikia.com

Finite love

¦ dialling in from the Sky Bunker ¦

I flew back from Newcastle last night, leaving mum sitting in the big white armchair by the lounge window, reading God Seed, and my sister standing over several pans and baking dishes... she's had the amazing idea of cooking numerous meals, placing them into plastic takeaway food cartons, and freezing them so mum will have a good supply of healthy food. Mum fell over a month ago and broke her wrist. It's things like this that create an emotional pain being back. I've lost one parent, now all my love and attention has settled onto the remainder: a person who I loathed and who disliked me, until I was 27 years old. It feels as though I've only recently found my mum, in my life, and now she's old and I might not have much time left. And so the human mind takes the thought process along. End of the day, I'm grateful I have such a wonderful woman in my life, and I acknowledge and appreciate the moments I get to share with her.

First Sun

¦ dialling in from Jesus Mound ¦

Sunday 18th Feb. Was up by 8.30am to see awesome golden sunlight flooding through windows. Shaved off the dense scraggle of beard that's taken hold. Hot steaming shower made me feel human again. Took a stroll down to stone horse-shoe bridge within the dene, sat soaking up those rays, eyes half-closed, blissed smile on my lips, breathe pluming in the broad expanse of light. Facing me, up the steep slop to my right is the crumbling hulk of the Banquetting Hall, it's image now so familiar within the back cover of Cloudy Head. Then I trudged up through tree-lined quiet streets to Acorn road, bought in supplies for a big roasty I'll make for me and mum later today. Was going to drop into a cafe for an Americano and read, but the weather was far too much of a delight. Headed home, dragged a canvass and wood director chair out onto the decking, a divine suntrap where dad used to sit... big mug of instant coffee and stacks of paper notes in a file on my lap. Bliss. Almost felt burned after a while. Deep penetrating beams. Started to feel a heavy fatigue on my brain. Time to catch 15 minutes sleep, then continue with the day.

Djr

 

The DaVinci Method

¦ dialling in from Jesus Mound ¦

Not sure if I actually read this somewhere or if I'm just making it up, but I'm now deep into the DaVinci method (again). I first used it in later 2004 when I wrote the novel 'Iron Man Project' in only 5 weeks. Now it's 2.35AM and I'm wading through Yellow Dawn 2nd edition...with a similar magical effect. The method is stark simple. During the day work for 45 minutes, then lie down for 15. Get up when the alarm beeps, make a quick mug of tea, work for 45, then lie down for 15. And repeat for as long as is required for the day. Approaching midnight I shift the pattern, reducing the work period to 30 minutes, but still followed by 15 minutes lying down. It's amazing because you just drift into this incredible productive state of mind - never really tired - where the actual time of day or night has no relevance. I've been working all day and night and I'm not tired. Wonderful.

Djr

 

Saturday Horror Vibe

¦ dialling in from Jesus Mound ¦

So i'm back in Newcastle. Back in Jesmond. In the house I grew up in from the age of 9. In my old bedroom, with a desk facing the wide window overlooking a dense forest of trees and the steep descent of the Dene. This is where I discovered H P Lovecraft as a teenager. This is where I first felt the macabre thrill of the Cthulhu Mythos touching my imagination. Here I am now, 22 years later... and I've just recaptured that incredible mood and atmosphere. Have a bunch of audio stories on my laptop. Took a break from Yellow Dawn 2nd edition to lie down with headphones plugged in... and I was transported into HP Lovecrafts "Haunter of the Dark." It's just finished. I padded downstairs to make a cup of coffee and now the grey light coming through the windows, the overwhelming presence of the trees outside the house...pressing in...close, all of it is laced with a Mythos vibe. I love it.

 

Life Moods

¦ Dialling in from Jesus Mound ¦

About a year ago I bought a toughdrive with 100 GB space. I copied all my CD's onto it, and transferred all downloaded tunes. Then clicked random. It's been great having an 6,100 tracks available at a mouse-click. It's also meant I've not bought any new music for a year because I was so wrapped up in rediscovering everthing I already have. Anyways, a few days ago I went into FOP to buy Klaxons album and came out with £100 quids worth. I'm restricting my listening to a couple albums at a time, playing them for a few days before trying more...simply to build up life moods, embedding memories, emotions and current state of mind in the fabric of the music. Otherwise, if you just listen to all the new music in one go, nothing sticks, and you don't get to know it. I adore the experience of putting on a track and finding a plethora of associate memories and moods sweeping back at me with the music. Current mood music is Klaxons, Data-rock, Beck "the information", and New Order Substance 1987.

 

The Ageing Process

¦ Dialling in from Sky Bunker ¦

I leave classic FM playing on the radio downstairs in the dinning room. It's nice to have those sounds greeting me when I take a break from writing. Yesterday I was sitting down there with a mug of coffee, a piece of music stopped and the presenter begant to discuss it. The voice was familiar. It was mature and spoke of wisdom and knowledge. Then suddenly I tuned-in to what he was saying, "....peice reminds me of Catch the Pigeon. Anyone of my age will remember spending Saturday afternoon watching cartoons, particularly the Wacky Racers..."
 There was a film moment; when the shot zooms in on a person, whilst the background retracts. Stop. Freeze-frame. This old bloke is no longer some old bloke. He's my peer. I'm probably the same age as him. Eee'gads teeth.
 Anyways, I knocked back my coffee and with a tug of the chin worthy of Frasier, I trudged back upstairs to the Sky Bunker.
 Progress with Yellow Dawn 2nd Edition. Now that the total overhaul of the website is complete I'm back to 100% focus on 2nd Edition. I'm managing 3-4 pages a day so far. Off to Newcastle tomorrow morning... so some welcome R&R up there.

Over & Out
Djr

Just past midnight

>12th Feb 00:01 on the clock. What a fab weekend. Jo got back from work Friday... she got series 4 of 24. We grabbed a takeout and flopped out on the sofas knowing we didn't have to get up for the next 2 days. Didn't make a meal Saturday. Just picked through cheeses and olives and spreads, plus couple bottles of dark ale. Delish. Sunday was roast lamb with a ton of roast vegetables, then flopping out on sofas again. Alternated every couple hours of 24 with me grabbing 1 hour sessions doing my own work: continuing to put together 2nd edition of Yellow Dawn, and then a complete overhaul of the entire site. Not bad for one weekend. Just finishing off now. I'm knackered but happy. We got through 16 hours of 24. Going to upload the last bits then crash into bed. Goodnight.