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Era - past and present

¦ dialling in from Sky Bunker ¦

Sunday night. Ran a hot bath, poured an ice cold glass of dark ale. Selected a few tracks on the laptop plugged into the stereo and let the music drift downstairs from bunker to bathroom. Candlelight. Hot water. Cold ale. Bliss. Dead Can Dance comes on. I'm transported back to Bristol Cathedral... this tune reminds me of walking through it when I was 23 /24... and now I'm transposing those memories on more recent ones of me lighting candles for my dad in the same cathedral. Another Dead Can Dance track comes on, this from the album "Within the Realm of a Dying Sun" and I'm transported back to the Jesmond Village. Late 1990, Manor House road, Richy and Grassy and Call of Cthulhu... the memories are so vivid, the emotions so intense I have to sit upright in the bath and gasp for breaths of air... the track continues to play... I'm moving forward, into Bristol... Hotwells... then the Happy Flat, Tony Jordan and Dom and Game... I ride the emotions, not so much a sense of loss, but a re-experience of many the good times past.

My sister left Newcastle to return to London. My mum's alone again. Wish I could shrug free of the sadness that brings into my heart.

Today I start the process of looking for employment again. I've been self-reliant and 100% dedicated to creative pursuits since last Spring...my funds are running low, the reserve tank indicator is flashing... and it's been mission successful. I've published 3 novels and several small projects; Yellow Dawn has gone through a successful proof of concept; and throughout all of this I've been able to spend nearly 6 months in Newcastle with my family during dad's illness and after his death.

Main priorities this week: update CV, start writing applications, maintain daily-output for Yellow Dawn 2nd Edition.